Tom is greated by Maria, who is Dr Fritz's receptionist and she is also in fact Dr Fritz, a deceased German doctor who died in 1916 and possesses Maria in order to continue treating patients.
Dr Fritz is hysterical. For any actor who wants to demonstrate their skill at the German dialect and comic timing, there couldn't be a better monologue. Technically the character is a woman posessed by a man but I think this monologue can be successfully delivered by either gender. The assemblage of the monologue I suggest below should run under two minutes.
Start the monologue on the bottom of page 41 of "Time Flies" with the hook opener "Too many Coca Colas, it has eaten your brains." and continue until "von McDonalds." then skip to page 44 midway down "At fifteen you had a rash on your buttocks in ze shape of Santa Claus." and continue until "you thought you were going to die." then skip to page 45 toward the too "You zleep every day from ..." and continue until the button closer "Ziss is your entire shtupid life." removing the few interjections by Tom in this last section.
Get Time Flies by David Ives.