2 Minute Monologues for Women | "Latte Factor" by Gabriel Davis
Latte Factor (2 Minute Monologue)
From the play Hello Goodbye Peace by Gabriel Davis
Have you ever heard the term "latte factor"? “Latte Factor.” It means being destitute at retirement age because you bought too many lattes. But I think it's not an all inclusive definition.
Latte factor should also refer to the factor of humanity that is lost in the ordering of lattes. Do you know what I mean? Like the way you ordered your latte a moment ago tells me you think very little of me. That you've dehumanized me. Oh you put some change in the tip jar, well... never mind.
You think you can just put your change in the jar and it absolves you of any requirement to treat me like a human being? This is just an impersonal transaction and I'm nothing more than an espresso making machine to you, right? You just put your cash in and your latte comes out? Am I not human? If you cut me, would I not bleed espresso? No, I wouldn't, I'd bleed real blood. Duh.
So when you order your double cap whip frappe the least you can do is start by looking me in the eyes and say "hi, how are you?" And I, another human, would reply: "Good thanks and you?" And you’d reply …
(She hears his response)
There, that wasn't so hard, right? Now you can tell me what you'll have.
The character of Alina is sassy, sarcastic and smart. She is a warrior for peace and social justice. Study the play! Hello Goodbye Peace available here.
Monologue Categories: 2 minute monologues, monologues for young women, contemporary monologues, monologues from plays, comedic monologues under two minutes, sarcastic monologues, coffee shop plays and monologues, sassy monologues.
Latte factor should also refer to the factor of humanity that is lost in the ordering of lattes. Do you know what I mean? Like the way you ordered your latte a moment ago tells me you think very little of me. That you've dehumanized me. Oh you put some change in the tip jar, well... never mind.
You think you can just put your change in the jar and it absolves you of any requirement to treat me like a human being? This is just an impersonal transaction and I'm nothing more than an espresso making machine to you, right? You just put your cash in and your latte comes out? Am I not human? If you cut me, would I not bleed espresso? No, I wouldn't, I'd bleed real blood. Duh.
So when you order your double cap whip frappe the least you can do is start by looking me in the eyes and say "hi, how are you?" And I, another human, would reply: "Good thanks and you?" And you’d reply …
(She hears his response)
There, that wasn't so hard, right? Now you can tell me what you'll have.
The character of Alina is sassy, sarcastic and smart. She is a warrior for peace and social justice. Study the play! Hello Goodbye Peace available here.
Monologue Categories: 2 minute monologues, monologues for young women, contemporary monologues, monologues from plays, comedic monologues under two minutes, sarcastic monologues, coffee shop plays and monologues, sassy monologues.
Watch the opening scene of Hello, Goodbye, Peace below. The full "Latte Factor" monologue and scene-work comes in at one minute thirty seconds into the video.
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Latte Factor (Female monologue about how people treat baristas)
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It's Terrible Being Nice (Female monologue about getting engaged)
I Kissed Marissa (Female monologue about kissing another girl)
Breaking up with Brandon (Female monologue about getting out of a toxic relationship)
I Ate the Divorce Papers (Female monologue; a 2-minute version of this old chestnut)
Latte Factor (Female monologue about how people treat baristas)
The Three of Us (Female monologue about convincing a fiance to let mommy move in)
26 Year Old Bar Mitzvah Boy (Male monologue about getting a later life do-over on a failed Bar Mitzvah)
Puppy Room (Male monologue about reforming the prison system ... with puppies!)
Honey I'm a Leprechaun (Male monologue about a man's metamorphosis into leprechaun)
Fact Checker (Male monologue about a rational fact checker falling in love, despite all the facts that say he shouldn't)