Monologues for Women from Plays (Royalty-Free)

I Ate the Divorce Papers is one of the most popular comedic female monologues from the play Goodbye Charles by Gabriel Davis. Jill's husband Charles serves her with divorce papers and then goes missing for days. Until Jill arrives home one day to find Charles frantically rummaging through their things looking for the papers. He begs her to release him from his misery. Jill tells Charles that she has not signed the divorce papers, she has eaten them! Search the title of this monologue to find several inspiring performances posted online. Great competition monologue; check for the 2 minute version. Young actresses have earned superior marks at nationals for the International Thespian Festival and Kennedy Center American College Theater Festival performing this monologue. Read I Ate the Divorce Papers.
It's Terrible Being Nice is another popular monologue for young women used in competition, in the classroom and in audition. It is also from the play Goodbye Charles. In the monologue, Cynthia, a self-proclaimed commitment-phobe, begs the man she's dating to NOT marry her. It's not because she doesn't love him. It's because the relationship is making her so happy and content that she's losing her edge; she's becoming ... nice! Audition with the short version coming in under two minutes. Read It's Terrible Being Nice.
Serial Dater is a female monologue from the darkly comic little play Lacey's Last Chance by Gabriel Davis. When it comes to dating and relationships, Lacey is mostly a loving, giving, selfless person. Unfortunately, she just has one little issue, when she gets frustrated, she tends to, well, murder. If you are auditioning for an absurdist comedy, this piece may be a good fit for you. Read Serial Dater.
Switching Sides - in this female monologue from the play Unbearable Hotness a young woman has a breakthrough; the love and romance she hopes for lies not in the arms of her chauvinist boyfriend but with her best friend, Marisa. Featured by the NYC Playwrights Project "Women in the Age of Trump." This monologue has a lot of energy, building to a climax with the monologist coming out to her best friend. Read Switching Sides.
Turkey Day - in this monologue for women from the play Hello, Goodbye, Peace, a vegetarian gives in to pressure from her boyfriend to prepare a turkey for his family at Thanksgiving. Now, standing with her boyfriend in the kitchen, turkey ready in the oven, and with his family waiting in the dining room, our heroine confronts her boyfriend with her conflicted feelings over what she's sacrificed to meet his family's expectations. Read Turkey Day.
Yoga Fart - in this liberating and comedic monologue from the one act play of the same name, Amy has a profoundly life-changing personal breakthrough in her Yoga class when some smelly winds escape unexpectedly. Read Yoga Fart.
Fire the Boys - this monologue takes a humorous and feminist take on how to best run the world. The answer is simple: fire the boys. The monologue draws connections between the history of patriarchal leadership, the state of the average college guy's dorm room, and a groundbreaking study on a female-led troop of baboons in Africa, to make a compelling case for why the boys should stand down and give the ladies a chance to run things. Monologue is from the play Hello, Goodbye, Peace. Read Fire the Boys.
Grow Up Humanity - a woman meets the embodiment of all of humanity in a dream. And it's a teenage boy addicted to World of Warcraft. With only a few minutes before her alarm goes off, our heroine must convince humanity to stop playing games and get serious about his long term survival. From the play Hello, Goodbye, Peace. Read Grow Up Humanity.
New Year's Wish - a woman appeals to her boyfriend to forget about hobnobbing at the party downstairs and be present with her for their relationship. The monologue gets into the tensions between professional advancement and meaningful romantic love. Will she convince her boyfriend to make the time they need for their love to flourish? From the play Hello, Goodbye, Peace. Read New Year's Wish.
Quiche isn't Sexy - a meat addicted foodie goes on a date with a vegetarian who attempts to serve her a quiche for dinner. Finding no passion on the plate, she concludes there will be no passion under the sheets ... and she tells him so. A brutally honest, funny monologue where the woman on the date tells the guy the things most of us think and feel but would never dare to say. From the one act play of the same name. Read Quiche Isn't Sexy.
Namaste Bitch - seriocomic monologue for a woman. Amy's sister, who is engaged to be married, has slept with Amy's boyfriend the night before her wedding. On the day of her sister's wedding, Amy tries hard to follow the peaceful teachings she's learning in Yoga and keep her anger at her sister contained. Will she be able to wish her sister "Namaste" or call her a .... From the comedic play Yoga Fart. Read Namaste Bitch.
Deafening Applause - in this dramatic monologue for a woman, the character Livi talks about the time she received a standing ovation in the theatre for her performance as the lead in the school play as contrasted by the incredibly non-supportive dinner with her father and brother directly after. The monologue is poignant, bittersweet and gives an actress a strong emotional tension to play. From the play Dreams in Captivity. Read Deafening Applause.
Un-Chatty Cathy - monologue for a young woman. Cathy is very shy. She finally works up to courage to talk to Zach who she's learned wants to ask her to the school dance. Cathy tells Zach the story of a time when she didn't have the courage to use her words out loud, so she wrote them down. Fully aware that Zach himself may not be up for speaking his words to her, she has brought an index card and a pen to help things along. From the collection of plays 3-Short. Read Un-Chatty Cathy.

Monologues for Women, Standalone (Royalty-Free)

The Gratitude List - this female monologue explores the dark side of making gratitude lists. Dark comedy monologue for women.
Death by Peanut - this comedic monologue for women satires the game/movie Clue. Who is the murderer at this dinner party? It turns out, our monologist did it in the kitchen with a peanut!
Hit and Run - a woman who has been involved in a hit and run earlier in the evening talks to her lover about the horrible moment and what she plans to do now.
Miss Havisham - inspired by the famous literary character of the same name, this monologue explores a moment never shown or discussed in Great Expectations.
Art Schooled - a woman recounts the story of how she badly hurt a boy in high school when he wasn't ready to come out and how karma came back to bite her in college.
Cranky Wife - a woman tells her husband how his overly chatty personality is keeping her from getting some much needed shut eye. Tired and cranky, she tells him he needs to make them some chamomile tea stat and put them to bed right the f*&^ NOW.
Secret Identity - in this female monologue, a woman reveals to her boyfriend that she is a super hero. Will his male ego be able to handle the fact that she is super-powered, or will he turn tail like the rest have done?
My Tattoo - a woman goes to get her David Hasselhoff tattoo removed at her daughter's request. In the process of talking to the doctor about why she first got the tattoo she realizes the last thing on earth she can do is remove it.
Always Smiling - in this female monologue, an office worker talks about why she is never seen frowning when walking down the hall and tries to convey to her coworker the power of the smile.
There's No Place Like Oz - A satire of The Wizard of Oz, depicting what happens after the credits on the famous film roll. After being back in Kansas for a few weeks, Dorothy realizes she's made a terrible mistake leaving Oz and hatches a crazy plan to return.
Conjugal Connections - some people find love on normal online dating sites. Our monologist found love on one that connects women with guys in jail. Sometimes the safest love is trapped behind bars.