SCENES FOR TEENS: Hungry Elsa at Starbucks
SCENE 3: ELSA AT STARBUCKS
(Frannie and Elsa stand together. Frannie looks at her watch, Elsa is looking all around her at everything taking it all in)
ELSA
This is the place called Starbucks? What is this place? It smells like our castle on coronation day. Look at that bountiful collection of cakes and sweets! Does a king live here?
FRANNIE
No, baristas work here.
ELSA
Are they royalty?
FRANNIE
They’re college graduates. They mostly majored in English with a minor in frothed milk.
ELSA
What will I do here all day?
FRANNIE
Order something, here’s money. I’ll be back after school. Bye!
(Exit Frannie)
ELSA
Bye…. order something, order something. Goodies, goodies everywhere but not a drop to eat.
(To Barista)
Excuse me, what is that?
BARISTA
A cake pop.
ELSA
Is it low calorie?
(Barista laughs)
CUSTOMER
I’ll take it.
(Takes it, bites it)
Oh wow that is heaven on a stick.
(Elsa watches her)
ELSA
This Starbucks is some kind of hell.
CUSTOMER
(To Barista)
I’ll also have a double whip cap frappe ... vente.
(Elsa sees a chocolate bar, picks it up)
ELSA
(Sadly, holding up the bar)
Mmm … chocolate.
(Begins song)
I’ve been down before
But not like this
I feel bad, I feel yucky, I feel dumb
My life in Arendelle is ... hungry
I can’t go back
The candy bar that guided me was you-oo
Are cupcakes lost
Are Ho hos gone
Will I ever put some weight on
No, I can’t eat anything
(Barista hands girl the Frappuccino)
Wait what’s that
What’s that thing?
(Singing stops a moment)
CUSTOMER
It’s a Frappuccino. It’s like a coffee.
ELSA
It looks sweet.
CUSTOMER
It is.
ELSA
But it's not a dessert?
CUSTOMER
Oh no,no. It’s just a beverage.
ELSA
(Continues with song)
Take a step
Get in line
Frappaccino’s look fine!
Just order that frappacino thing.
It is all that I can to do
To Order that frappacino thing!
(Singing stop)
BARISTA
Here you go.
ELSA
And here I go!
(Tries to drink it, same issue)
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
BARISTA
Are you ok?
ELSA
I just ... need somewhere to collect myself.
BARISTA
Restroom is that way.
ELSA
Thank you.
(Elsa enters restroom)
ELSA
Oh cruel Frappuccino. You are not a beverage. You are a dessert. So I must flush you.
(She opens toilet bowl and raises her Frappuccino in the air to throw it in. Grand Pabbie emerges from inside the bowl, halfway out)
PABBIE
I’ll take that.
ELSA
Grand Pabbie!
PABBIE
Mmm, it’s quite good.
ELSA
What are you doing here?
PABBIE
I heard my queen’s primal scream for sweet and decadent foods. So I came through this inter dimensional toilet hole ...
ELSA
I think it’s called a toilet bowl
PABBIE
...to guide you, as I always do at the start of your quests. Your lust for sugared and fat laden foods
There is a big booty in it
But also danger
ELSA
I intend to stay within a healthy BMI.
But an ice queen deserves ice cream.
PABBIE
To be freed ... the girl who summoned you ... she must believe.
For her to believe, her entire world must believe.
ELSA
But how can we change her whole world.
PABBIE
She is a teenager. Her whole world is high school. Change how they see Elsa, and she will be free, you will be free.
ELSA
How?
PABBIE
Take this fire crystal. As the school begins to believe, it will begin to turn red. When it is completely red ..
ELSA
I can eat this.
PABBIE
And the young girl’s belief that she is a princess ... just as she is ... will be restored.
You will also need these. Forged in the icy depths of the dark sea at the mouth of Ahtahallan itself.
ELSA
Um, this is paper. Metal things are forged, usually in hot fires.
PABBIE
Not forged, forged! As in forgeries. These are magically forged school registration papers.
ELSA
Ah ok.
PABBIE
These will gain you passage to Frannie’s high school as a 16 year old foreign exchange student named Elsie.
Now go! Go! You haven’t a moment or a pound to lose!
ELSA
I’m going. It’s just .. this door ...
PABBIE
I think you just need to press the thing ...
ELSA
I am, I’m pressing the thing.
PABBIE
Jiggle it.
ELSA
I am, I’m trying... oh it’s a push, not a pull.
PABBIE
Now go! Go!
ELSA
I’m going now. Bye.
PABBIE
Goodbye Elsa! Goodbye!
(Lowers back down into toilet, closing lid behind him)
(Frannie and Elsa stand together. Frannie looks at her watch, Elsa is looking all around her at everything taking it all in)
ELSA
This is the place called Starbucks? What is this place? It smells like our castle on coronation day. Look at that bountiful collection of cakes and sweets! Does a king live here?
FRANNIE
No, baristas work here.
ELSA
Are they royalty?
FRANNIE
They’re college graduates. They mostly majored in English with a minor in frothed milk.
ELSA
What will I do here all day?
FRANNIE
Order something, here’s money. I’ll be back after school. Bye!
(Exit Frannie)
ELSA
Bye…. order something, order something. Goodies, goodies everywhere but not a drop to eat.
(To Barista)
Excuse me, what is that?
BARISTA
A cake pop.
ELSA
Is it low calorie?
(Barista laughs)
CUSTOMER
I’ll take it.
(Takes it, bites it)
Oh wow that is heaven on a stick.
(Elsa watches her)
ELSA
This Starbucks is some kind of hell.
CUSTOMER
(To Barista)
I’ll also have a double whip cap frappe ... vente.
(Elsa sees a chocolate bar, picks it up)
ELSA
(Sadly, holding up the bar)
Mmm … chocolate.
(Begins song)
I’ve been down before
But not like this
I feel bad, I feel yucky, I feel dumb
My life in Arendelle is ... hungry
I can’t go back
The candy bar that guided me was you-oo
Are cupcakes lost
Are Ho hos gone
Will I ever put some weight on
No, I can’t eat anything
(Barista hands girl the Frappuccino)
Wait what’s that
What’s that thing?
(Singing stops a moment)
CUSTOMER
It’s a Frappuccino. It’s like a coffee.
ELSA
It looks sweet.
CUSTOMER
It is.
ELSA
But it's not a dessert?
CUSTOMER
Oh no,no. It’s just a beverage.
ELSA
(Continues with song)
Take a step
Get in line
Frappaccino’s look fine!
Just order that frappacino thing.
It is all that I can to do
To Order that frappacino thing!
(Singing stop)
BARISTA
Here you go.
ELSA
And here I go!
(Tries to drink it, same issue)
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
BARISTA
Are you ok?
ELSA
I just ... need somewhere to collect myself.
BARISTA
Restroom is that way.
ELSA
Thank you.
(Elsa enters restroom)
ELSA
Oh cruel Frappuccino. You are not a beverage. You are a dessert. So I must flush you.
(She opens toilet bowl and raises her Frappuccino in the air to throw it in. Grand Pabbie emerges from inside the bowl, halfway out)
PABBIE
I’ll take that.
ELSA
Grand Pabbie!
PABBIE
Mmm, it’s quite good.
ELSA
What are you doing here?
PABBIE
I heard my queen’s primal scream for sweet and decadent foods. So I came through this inter dimensional toilet hole ...
ELSA
I think it’s called a toilet bowl
PABBIE
...to guide you, as I always do at the start of your quests. Your lust for sugared and fat laden foods
There is a big booty in it
But also danger
ELSA
I intend to stay within a healthy BMI.
But an ice queen deserves ice cream.
PABBIE
To be freed ... the girl who summoned you ... she must believe.
For her to believe, her entire world must believe.
ELSA
But how can we change her whole world.
PABBIE
She is a teenager. Her whole world is high school. Change how they see Elsa, and she will be free, you will be free.
ELSA
How?
PABBIE
Take this fire crystal. As the school begins to believe, it will begin to turn red. When it is completely red ..
ELSA
I can eat this.
PABBIE
And the young girl’s belief that she is a princess ... just as she is ... will be restored.
You will also need these. Forged in the icy depths of the dark sea at the mouth of Ahtahallan itself.
ELSA
Um, this is paper. Metal things are forged, usually in hot fires.
PABBIE
Not forged, forged! As in forgeries. These are magically forged school registration papers.
ELSA
Ah ok.
PABBIE
These will gain you passage to Frannie’s high school as a 16 year old foreign exchange student named Elsie.
Now go! Go! You haven’t a moment or a pound to lose!
ELSA
I’m going. It’s just .. this door ...
PABBIE
I think you just need to press the thing ...
ELSA
I am, I’m pressing the thing.
PABBIE
Jiggle it.
ELSA
I am, I’m trying... oh it’s a push, not a pull.
PABBIE
Now go! Go!
ELSA
I’m going now. Bye.
PABBIE
Goodbye Elsa! Goodbye!
(Lowers back down into toilet, closing lid behind him)