Comedic contemporary monologue for a young woman. Character is 16, named Patricia.

Patricia opens up to a boy she likes. She begins by talking about herself; how accomplished she is. She ends up going deep, talking about her mother's new boyfriend and the loss of her father. By the end, vulnerable, she asks the boy she!s sharing all this with to kiss her.

Piece gives a young woman in her teens plenty of solid comedic and dramatic beats to play. Great journey from funny (she brags about herself) to raw and vulnerable and tragic (she talks about her father's loss, seeing his ghost), to her struggle dealing with her mother having moved on, now in a new romantic relationship, and to curiosity about adult relationships and sex.

• Great hook opening "I have the highest grade point average in my class. I make my own clothes and could play the flute professionally."
• Good balancing past and present action. Recollection reveals her character while being used as a means to get close with a boy she likes.
• Healthy stakes as she's taking a risk she'll reveal who she really is and he'll reject her.
• Strong want to connect, to be kissed.
• Effectively reveals strong emotion under the surface of the storytelling. Here is a young woman who could break down and cry when she thinks about her late father. However se does not, she tells the story of seeing his ghost and how the family dog kept waiting by the door for him to arrive home from work every night. Heartbreaking stuff but she doesn't allow herself to break.

Comedic contemporary monologue for a woman, age range 40's from the play "Cuthbert's Last Stand" by Andrew Biss.

A mother is saddened that her son has turned out straight.  Mrs. Pennington-South, tells her son how she had hoped he would turn out gay like "your cousin Vivian, with his penchant for strolling in the park after dark, and his overall lack of interest in the feminine gender."  She goes over moments from his childhood that shaped the man he grew up to be and blames his father for buying him "some sort of action combat doll" which she believes contributed to his unfortunate straightness.  She just feels life would have been easier for him gay.

Find the monologue on page 31 of 222 Comedy Monologues 2 Minutes and Under Volume 4.   Get the one act play "Cuthbert's Last Stand" by Andrew Biss here.  ​

Comedic monologue for a woman in her 40's from the one-act play "Cuthbert's Last Stand" by Andrew Biss, which won the 5th Annual National One-Act Play Competition in Los Angeles.   Character is a woman in her 40's named Mrs. Pennington-South.

You can find this funny female monologue, highest scoring this week on the laugh-o-meter, on page 33 of 222 Comedy Monologues 2 Minutes and Under Volume 4.

Few reasons I luuuurrrve this one per my Monologue Writing 101:

• Hook opener immediately made me like Andrew Biss' style:  "Thirty years of my life I've squandered on that anonymous hotel guest legally defined as my husband and your father."   Best hook this week (so far).
• The monologue effectively connects past action recalled to the present action.  As Mrs. Pennington-South bemoans in great, vivid rib tickling detail the exasperating soul sucking experience that has been her marriage, she connects these past recollections to her life's current mission, which is to ensure that her son - to whom she's currently speaking - escapes a similar fate.
• Finally, insult comedy is funny.  This monologue is chock full

However, as the great LeVar Burton said "You don't have to take my word for it, read it for yourself."  Get the one act play "Cuthbert's Last Stand" by Andrew Biss here.  

Comedic monologue under 2 minutes for woman in her 20's.  Character's name is Jill.  The monologue is contemporary and can be cut to a one minute monologue if needed and still work well.

The monologue opens "I can't talk about him.  No, I will talk about him."   Decent hook in that immediately we're wondering who "him" is.   Clearly he's not easy for her to talk about.

The monologue gives a young actress a great build of intensity as she rhapsodizes about how wonderful the relationship was with "him" at first describing it as "the kind of passion that made every day seem like the Fourth of July."   Great vehicle to show you can exude passion and excitement. 

However, as the character you'll get so carried away with passion that before you knows it you find yourself at a Justice of the Peace hearing the words "Do you Jack, take Jill, to be your lawfully wedded wife."  Name reveal that the "him" referenced throughout is "Jack."  Not good; you can't imagine going through life as "Jack and Jill."   These moments will allow you to play fear and that OMG, what have I got myself into type feeling.  Put another way in the second major beat of the piece you get carried away by euphoric blissful love and in the third major beat you suddenly put the breaks on and try to screech to a halt before you go too far with the feeling ...

As you apply the brakes hard you see the edge of the cliff drawing closer.  Will you stop in time?  You "wanted to scream, to go running out into the night" however "It was 10 o'clock in the morning and well, you can't go running out into 10 o'clock in the morning."

And then quite a great button closing which also serves as a punchline to the setup above "So instead I passed out.  If only I'd fainted, before I said, I do."   So yeah, you go right over that cliff, too late!  You're married!   

It's quite a fun ride with varied levels of energy and emotion, taking you from reluctance to elation to panic to dismay.

Get this 1 to 2 minute comedic contemporary monologue for a young woman from the play Butterflies are Free here.

You'll find this two minute audition monologue for a woman in her 30's to 40's on page 21 of "Bad Dates" the comic play by Theresa Rebeck.  The monologue starts with the semi-hook "So I'm like, OK, this is just a date that's not going to work out."  Instantly we the audience are a close friend hearing about the character's dating misadventures.  The monologist goes on to tell us how as the guy on this hopeless date talks to her she realizes they're sort of kindred spirits and she feels sort of bad for him.  They've both just recently been through breakups from long term relationships and are getting back out there.  

But just as she's starting to have real sympathy for his situation he begins explaining that it was actually HE who did the breaking up even though he's all sad it had to end.  Our monologist tries to figure out why he ended the relationship and all he can say is he couldn't see "the end of the movie" with the person. After "going around in circles" trying to understand what he means, she concludes that he ended a good relationship because he got an insane metaphor stuck in his head.

​In terms of the ten elements of great audition monologues, this one gets solid marks for elements 1, 4 and 5.  The monologist has a strong desire to make a connection, the piece has a decent hook opening that grabs our attention partly because of how relatable and natural the dialogue sounds, and it has a very good button closing because the monologue's frustration level sort of blows comically on the last line "is it possible you broke up with the woman you loved because of some insane metaphor?"

The monologue gives you varied emotions to play, a journey to go on from feeling defeated (date is going nowhere) to sympathetic (poor guy he's also recovering from a long term relationship like me) to frustrated (this idiot ended a good relationship for NO reason!). 

Preview the monologue on google books here.    Get the play here.

Suzanne recounts her romantic encounter with Picasso. Comedic monologue for a young woman, 19 to 20's (script says 19 but yeah ... )

Susanne is young, attractive, confident in herself. She knows the power she possess, that she is attractive to men. Picasso's appetite for consuming and devouring experience, life, her ... and transforming it into art ... sweeps her off her feet (right onto her back). She can tell he is significant, important. It is a brief encounter, a tryst, a flash in the pan, a powerful inexplicable moment of passion. And then he is gone. And she is left disappointed and yearning. She has come to the cafe Lapin Agile looking to see him again.

The monologue begins on page 18 of Picasso at the Lapin Agile and Other Plays with the line "I ... it was about two weeks ago." and ends on page 20 with "He told me about this place, that he might see me here one day, and that was two weeks ago." You'll have to cut interjections and decide on other internal cut within the piece to get it to audition time. For an example of how it can be cut see page 73 of 222 Comedy Monologues 2 Minutes and Under.

Great monologue if you are auditioning for a comedy, if the role will be one with some sex appeal and romance, if there is some erudition and sophistication to the characters in the play.

Favorite line:

​"Well at that point the word no became like a Polish village: unpronounceable."

Within Christopher Durang's short play 'dentity Crisis is a gem of a comedic monologue for women about a production of Peter Pan in which Tinkerbell doesn't make it. ..  

This is a two to three minute darkly comic monologue and is contemporary.  Suggested age range is 30+ but really, I've seen plenty of college students perform this and do an awesome job so whatevs.   Frankly a guy can do it too, who cares. There's nothing really gender specific about the monologue if taken as a standalone piece.

Ok so full disclosure this monologue used to be WAY overdone as an audition piece when I was in school back in the aughts.  Not sure if that's still the case for students attending college after the advent of the steam engine ... check with your drama teacher, coach or colleagues.   But it is hilarious.

So the premise:

Imagine you're a child taken to see the show Peter Pan, a children's fantasy filled with wonder and hope, right?  Nope! Instead Wendy and the flying children keep falling to the ground because the ropes are breaking.  The crocodile isn't an actor but a real crocodile.  And in the scene where Tinkerbell needs all the children to clap and revive her ... she dies.

By taking this classic story, which we all know, and completely destroying our expectation of what it should be and replacing it with a horror show some deep comedy gold is mined.   

Durang is irreverent, absurd and on point with his humor here.  No surprise since the guy is consistently brilliant and funny in basically everything he writes.  I hate him.  If it's not an overdone audition piece where you are, perform this one!  Post haste!  

Find the monologue toward the bottom of page 271 of the book Christopher Durang Volume 1: 27 Short Plays.   Monologue starts toward the bottom of page 271 with the line "When I was eight years old ... " and ends toward the bottom of 272 with "nothing seems worth trying if Tinkerbell's just going to die."

Favorite quote from this monologue:

"That wasn't enough.  You didn't clap hard enough.  Tinkerbell's dead."

Comedic monologue, female, teen, contemporary. 1 minute monologue.

The character's name is Howdy, she's 17 and overweight.

This monologue for a young women has a clear objective for an actress: convince Mrs. Becker, who believes the monologist is without ambition, that she in fact has BIG ambitions. She's going to join the World Wrestling Federation and become " BOOGER WOMAN" who will be "the hero for all fat girls."

Per Monologue Writing 101 this monologue is notable for its:

• Strong Want - Howdy's desire to standup to Mrs. Becker jumps off the page.  A+
• Engage the Senses - the monologue is filled with visual and to a lesser extent tactile language.  A
• Hook Opening - interesting word choice plus effectively engages the audience's attention on the monologue's premise.  A-
• Button Closing - finishes strong, building energy to a climax and sticking it to Mrs. Becker.  A

Available on page 10 of "222 Comedy Monologues 2 Minutes and Under."