2 Minute Monologues for men | "26 Year Old Bar Mitzvah Boy" by Gabriel Davis

26 Year Old Bar Mitzvah Boy (2 Minute Monologue)
Comedic monologue under 2 minutes from the play Goodbye Charles
by Gabriel Davis

No, I’m not here to propose marriage again. You said no and I respect that decision. But I've been thinking a lot about what you said. That I'm not ready, that I need to grow up. I've been thinking about it and I wanted you to know, I think I figured it out.

My bar-mitzvah - my transformation from boy to man at the age of 13. I don't think I got it right. I remember stuttering when I read the Shema. And my chanting, especially during the Haftorah was a little off-key. So I'm thinking, maybe, I didn't enter manhood properly.

But what if I got bar-mitzvahed again? What if I got re-bar-mitzvahed? I could knock my bar-mitzvah out of the synagogue this time.

So I’ve been studying Hebrew, going to Saturday services, making Gefilte fish from scratch! I can feel it, I'm ready. Ready to pay a mortgage and take out a 401k and father some kids. Tomorrow is my big day. Tomorrow, thirteen years after my first bar-mitzvah I am going to do it again. Tomorrow I will step up on that bema and you will WITNESS my TRANSFORMATION!

So, anyhoo...that’s why I’m here. Just wanted to hand deliver this invitation to my bar-mitzvah. And, um...if you could just fill out this little card – chicken or fish. Thanks!

Monologue Categories: 2 minute monologues, monologues for men, contemporary monologues, monologues from plays, comedic monologues under two minutes, romantic monologues, relationship monologues, New York monologues, audition, competition.