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2 Minute Monologues for men | "26 Year Old Bar Mitzvah Boy" by Gabriel Davis


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26 Year Old Bar Mitzvah Boy (2 Minute Monologue)
Comedic monologue under 2 minutes from the play Goodbye Charles
by Gabriel Davis

No, I’m not here to propose marriage again. You said no and I respect that decision.  But I've been thinking a lot about what you said.  That I'm not ready, that I need to grow up.  I've been thinking about it and I wanted you to know, I think I figured it out.

My bar-mitzvah - my transformation from boy to man at the age of 13.  I don't think I got it right.  I remember stuttering when I read the Shema. And my chanting, especially during the Haftorah was a little off-key.  So I'm thinking, maybe, I didn't enter manhood properly. 

But what if I got bar-mitzvahed again?  What if I got re-bar-mitzvahed?  I could knock my bar-mitzvah out of the synagogue this time.

So I’ve been studying Hebrew, going to Saturday services, making Gefilte fish from scratch! I can feel it, I'm ready. Ready to pay a mortgage and take out a 401k and father some kids. Tomorrow is my big day. Tomorrow, thirteen years after my first bar-mitzvah I am going to do it again.  Tomorrow I will step up on that bema and you will WITNESS my TRANSFORMATION!

So, anyhoo...that’s why I’m here.  Just wanted to hand deliver this invitation to my bar-mitzvah. And, um...if you could just fill out this little card – chicken or fish. Thanks!

​
Monologue Categories:  2 minute monologues, monologues for men, contemporary monologues, monologues from plays, comedic monologues under two minutes, romantic monologues, relationship monologues, New York monologues, audition, competition.

MONOLOGUES

Men's
Frightening Wonderful Thing
Killing Chuck
The Fact Checker
Honey I'm a Leprechaun
26 Year Old Bar Mitzvah Boy
Licensed to Fart

Women's
I Ate the Divorce Papers
It's Terrible Being Nice
Serial Dater
Switching Sides
Conjugal Connections
Turkey Day
Yoga Fart
Hit and Run
Fire the Boys
Grow Up Humanity
New Year's Wish
Namaste Bitch
Quiche isn't Sexy
The Matzah Thief
Un-Chatty Cathy
Death by Peanut
Deafening Applause
Surrender my Love
Space is Nicer than Here
My Father's Blue Eyes
Breaking Up with Brandon
I Kissed Marisa
I'm More Man than You
Almost 16
The Farting Yogi
12 Years Wise
Miss Havisham
The Gratitude List
Secret Identity
Indestructible Super Puppies 
Always Smiling