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2 Minute Monologues for Teens | "Candy Girl" by Gabriel Davis


Candy Girl (2 Minute Monologue)
Comedic female teen monologue from the play Almost 16 by Gabriel Davis 

   (Frannie addresses her best friend)
Breaking news: I’m popular now. Wanna know how?

At lunch, I sat by those freshman populars. You know the ones, the salad eaters. One girl says, “My boyfriend keeps gifting me candy, it’s evil.” I say, “It can’t be evil, it’s a Mr. Goodbar!” Girl tosses the bar. I catch it, strip it of its wrapper, swallow it in one gulp. Jaws drop. “Impressed?" I say, "Watch me with Snickers” Next thing, I’ve got 10 in my mouth, they're laughing hysterically. Just what those lettuce lovers needed.

They posted a pic? Did it say something like: “Having the best laugh of our lives!”
     (Beat, reading the post)
“FEED THE BEAST.” Fat shaming? Seriously? Should I report it to the Principal? Well, maybe it's just one girl. Let’s see the comments. “Hope her waistband is elastic” "She’s gonna need that shirt in size walrus” Excuse me, but beautiful comes in more sizes than zero. “She must think corn syrup counts as a vegetable! #KindergartenFlunky” Age shaming too? I didn’t flunk. I repeated. 

Oh, is there no path to popularity for a candy loving older freshman? Wait, that’s it! I’m older! Those girls are desperate for a ride to Homecoming, anyone but their parents.

Sure, I’m not 16 for another two weeks. But that’s a minor detail that they don’t know. Mom and Dad have a thing the night of Homecoming. Which will leave one car unguarded at home.

Popularity, here I come!
-------------------------------END MONOLOGUE-----------------------------
​
​Related Monologue:  Almost 16