2 Minute Monologues for Women | "I Kissed Marisa" by Gabriel Davis
I Kissed Marisa (2 Minute Monologue)
Comedic Female Monologue from the play Unbearable Hotness
By Gabriel Davis
Marisa is gay. I’m the only person she’s told. And after she told me, she kissed me. She says she’s scared to come out by herself … but she thinks she could if I would come out with her.
Just because I felt a little chemistry doesn’t mean, it doesn’t mean I’m gay. I mean, one kiss with Marisa and it’s not like, I mean I’m still attracted to boys – even though most of them are idiots, I can’t just switch sides on a whim. And that’s when she says, “So don’t do it on a whim. Do it after we make love.” So what did I do? I did her.
No, not really!! But that’s what you wanted me to say, right? Next day she shows up at my dorm. Pissed. She says, it was really hard coming out to me the way she did. And my “treating her like a leper” has just made it even harder for her to ever come out.
And you know what. I’m pissed. Because it’s not fair, her putting all this on me. And in fact, it’s not fair that she’s staying in the closet when she has all these boys pining after her and going crazy trying to be with her, when she could just let them all off the hook if she’d come out.
Just because I felt a little chemistry doesn’t mean, it doesn’t mean I’m gay. I mean, one kiss with Marisa and it’s not like, I mean I’m still attracted to boys – even though most of them are idiots, I can’t just switch sides on a whim. And that’s when she says, “So don’t do it on a whim. Do it after we make love.” So what did I do? I did her.
No, not really!! But that’s what you wanted me to say, right? Next day she shows up at my dorm. Pissed. She says, it was really hard coming out to me the way she did. And my “treating her like a leper” has just made it even harder for her to ever come out.
And you know what. I’m pissed. Because it’s not fair, her putting all this on me. And in fact, it’s not fair that she’s staying in the closet when she has all these boys pining after her and going crazy trying to be with her, when she could just let them all off the hook if she’d come out.
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It's Terrible Being Nice (Female monologue about getting engaged)
I Kissed Marissa (Female monologue about kissing another girl)
Breaking up with Brandon (Female monologue about getting out of a toxic relationship)
I Ate the Divorce Papers (Female monologue; a 2-minute version of this old chestnut)
Latte Factor (Female monologue about how people treat baristas)
The Three of Us (Female monologue about convincing a fiance to let mommy move in)
26 Year Old Bar Mitzvah Boy (Male monologue about getting a later life do-over on a failed Bar Mitzvah)
Puppy Room (Male monologue about reforming the prison system ... with puppies!)
Honey I'm a Leprechaun (Male monologue about a man's metamorphosis into leprechaun)
Fact Checker (Male monologue about a rational fact checker falling in love, despite all the facts that say he shouldn't)