Find us on
Monologue Genie
  • Home
  • Monologues
    • Female Monologues
    • Male Monologues
    • 2 Minute Monologues >
      • 2 Minute Terrible Being Nice Monologue
      • 2 Minute 26 Year Old Bar Mitzvah Boy Monologue
      • 2 Minute Monologue Latte Factor
      • 2 Minute Ate the Divorce Papers Monologue
      • 2 Minute I Kissed Marisa Monologue
      • 2 Minute Breaking Up with Brandon Monologue
      • 2 Minute Fact Checker Monologue
      • 2 Minute Honey I'm a Leprechaun Monologue
      • 2 Minute Quiche isn't Sexy Monologue
      • 2 Minute Puppy Room Monologue
      • 2 Minute Three of Us Monologue
    • 1 Minute Monologues
    • Monologues from Plays FEMALE
    • Monologues from Plays MALE
    • Monologues For Teens
    • Monologue Recommendations >
      • Monologues For Men
      • Monologues For Women
      • Comedic Monologues
    • All Monologues >
      • Ate Divorce Papers Monologue
      • Its Terrible Being Nice Monologue
      • Hit and Run Monologue
      • Serial Dater Monologue
      • Switching Sides Monologue
      • Conjugal Connections Monologue
      • Turkey Day Monologue
      • Yoga Fart Monologue
      • Fire the Boys Monologue
      • New Year's Wish
      • Namaste Bitch
      • Quiche isn't Sexy
      • The Matzah Thief Monologue
      • Un-Chatty Cathy Monologue
      • Death by Peanut Monologue
      • Deafening Applause Monologue
      • Surrender My Love Monologue
      • Space is Nicer than Here Monologue
      • 12 Years Wise
      • My Father's Blue Eyes Monologue
      • Breaking Up with Brandon Monologue
      • I Kissed Marisa Monologue
      • I'm More Man than You Monologue
      • Almost 16 Monologue
      • Flunking Yoga Monologue
      • I Meditate Wrong Monologue
      • The Farting Yogi
      • Coffee Slave Monologue
      • Miss Havisham
      • The Gratitude List
      • Secret Identity
      • Secret Identity (Extended Version)
      • Always Smiling Monologue
      • There's No Place Like Oz Monologue
      • My Tattoo
      • Art Schooled Monologue
      • Don't Blame the Muse Monologue
      • Cranky Wife Monologue
      • A Good Pudding Monologue
      • Sleepless in Sukhasana
      • Welcome to FLY Yoga
      • Naked Barbies Monologue
      • Ken Doll Theft Monologue
      • Bell Shaped Body Monologue
      • Recess Monologue
      • Supreme Leader
      • The Roadrunner Never Looks Down Monologue
      • Most Frightening Wonderful Thing Monologue
      • Killing Chuck Monologue
      • 26 Year Old Bar Mitzvah Boy Monologue
      • Fact Checker Monologue
      • Honey, I'm a Leprechaun Monologue
      • The Cheese Robber Monologue
      • Best Lazyboy in the Galaxy Monologue
      • Nice Catch Chuck Monologue
      • White Whale of Hotness Monologue
      • Unhandy Man Monologue
      • Maddie's Dad Monologue
      • The Cheerios War Monologue
      • Grow Up Humanity Monologue
      • The Burger Addict
      • Cat Mozart Monologue
      • Road to Ruin; Paved with Kittens
      • Love Sick Monologue
      • Hungry Yuppies Monologue
      • Basketball Therapy Monologue
      • Indestructible Super Puppies Monologue
      • Good Humor Man Monologue
      • My Dad's so Uncool its Cool Monologue
      • We're All Kings Monologue
      • Saint Peter the Cheater
      • Sleeping with Sleep Monologue
      • Wife Alert Monologue
      • Pretty Lies Monologue
      • Santa Monologue
      • Secret Identity (Extended Version)
      • Teen Monologues - Pinball Eyes
      • Teen Monologues - Scared Popular
      • Teen Monologues - Not Impressed
      • Teen Monologues - Candy Girl
      • Save this Divorce
      • Mission to Prom Monologue
      • Hungry Elsa Monologue
      • 85th Asana Monologue
      • The Three of Us Monologue
      • I Hate the Divorce Papers Monologue
      • This Anomaly Monologue
      • The Metta Tater
  • More Stuff
    • Monologue Writing 101
    • Monologue Catalogue
    • Monologue Books
    • Monologue Performances
    • Magic Carpet
    • Contact

Monologues for Women | "Ken Doll Theft" by Gabriel Davis

Ken Doll Theft
Comedic Female Monologue from the play Yoga Fart
by Gabriel Davis

Picture
You know, you have always misunderstood me.   Remember that time I took all your Ken dolls?
 
There was a recall that year of those particular Ken dolls, they were dangerous Ames.  Grandma said they were real Ken dolls but really they were cheap off-brand knock-offs covered in lead paint… I tried to explain it to you, but you were four.  You didn’t get it.  So I took them, and was saving my allowance to replace them... but I only got a buck a week. 
 
Yes … yes..  I did enjoy the extra Kens … OK?   But why do you think I was wearing kitchen gloves when I had them serve their Barbie Queens?   It was to protect myself from lead poisoning!!!
           
And remember when you had that Krispy Kreme problem?  Have you forgotten how I gained 15 pounds of donut weight in high school?   You were constantly bringing boxes home and I was afraid if I didn’t devour them faster than you, you were going to become diabetic.
 
I stole your Kens and I ate your donuts to save you.  Both were good deeds.  But they were, oh God, Ames.  They were!
 
If I’m married, I may not have as much time to watchdog your life.  You’re my little sis.  I can’t abandon you out here.

This monologue is from the play Yoga Fart available digitally and in print here. 


Related Monologues:
Yoga Fart
Farting Yogi
I Meditate Wrong
Flunking Yoga
Sleepless in Sukhasana
Welcome to FLY Yoga
Naked Barbies
Ken Doll Theft
Namaste Bitch

2 Minute Monologues

1 Minute Monologues

Female Monologues from Plays 

Male Monologues from Plays

Monologues for Teens

Monologue Genie is a free resource created by Gabriel Davis to support those seeking audition material. Monologues on this site written by Gabriel Davis are royalty free for use in audition and competition; for other uses contact [email protected]. For monologues not written by Gabriel Davis that are recommended on this site royalties may apply so be sure to contact the relevant author or their agent for permission to use their work.

Monologue Genie is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a way for websites to earn advertising revenues by advertising and linking to Amazon.com.

Copyright © 2022