Monologues for Women | "Welcome to FLY Yoga" by Gabriel Davis
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Welcome to FLY Yoga
Comedic Female Monologue from the play Yoga Fart
by Gabriel Davis
Welcome to Farting Laughing Yogis Yoga or FLY Yoga. To those who may be new to our practice, we hope you’ll keep an open mind. If you haven’t already, be sure to grab a block and a strap. Before we begin today’s practice, I wanted to thank Shelley who has been so gracious to open her Yoga studio to us as a temporary home for FLY Yoga while ours is fumigated. Namaste Shelley.
(She is handed a piece of paper)
Oh, Shelley has a little announcement she’s like me to read.
(Clears throat, reading)
“To my regulars, consider this as a workshop on tolerance and acceptance. To those here from FLY Yoga, a word on Green Juice and Juice Cleanses. Green Juices, a body purifier for you and an air purifier for my Yoga Studio.“
(Beat, puts paper away)
Uh, thank you Shelley for, um, highlighting for those new to FLY Yoga, that it can be difficult to release some of the things we hold inside. We’re afraid if we allow our troubled southern winds to enter the atmosphere, we will find ourselves rejected for them. But we must learn to accept the dark clouds that dwell within us and release them. We are trumpets, we hold the power to raise our asses in harmony, and sound in a new era where everyone is free to fart. People say it is unladylike to fart. FLY Yoga says, it is inhuman not to.
So I say to you today, all who may fart follow me! My sisters and brothers! Fart Loudly, Fart Proudly!
Let us begin.
This monologue is from the play Yoga Fart available digitally and in print here.
Related Monologues:
Yoga Fart
Farting Yogi
I Meditate Wrong
Flunking Yoga
Sleepless in Sukhasana
Welcome to FLY Yoga
Naked Barbies
Ken Doll Theft
Namaste Bitch
(She is handed a piece of paper)
Oh, Shelley has a little announcement she’s like me to read.
(Clears throat, reading)
“To my regulars, consider this as a workshop on tolerance and acceptance. To those here from FLY Yoga, a word on Green Juice and Juice Cleanses. Green Juices, a body purifier for you and an air purifier for my Yoga Studio.“
(Beat, puts paper away)
Uh, thank you Shelley for, um, highlighting for those new to FLY Yoga, that it can be difficult to release some of the things we hold inside. We’re afraid if we allow our troubled southern winds to enter the atmosphere, we will find ourselves rejected for them. But we must learn to accept the dark clouds that dwell within us and release them. We are trumpets, we hold the power to raise our asses in harmony, and sound in a new era where everyone is free to fart. People say it is unladylike to fart. FLY Yoga says, it is inhuman not to.
So I say to you today, all who may fart follow me! My sisters and brothers! Fart Loudly, Fart Proudly!
Let us begin.
This monologue is from the play Yoga Fart available digitally and in print here.
Related Monologues:
Yoga Fart
Farting Yogi
I Meditate Wrong
Flunking Yoga
Sleepless in Sukhasana
Welcome to FLY Yoga
Naked Barbies
Ken Doll Theft
Namaste Bitch