Monologues for Women | "Naked Barbies" by Gabriel Davis
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Naked Barbies
Comedic Female Monologue from the play Yoga Fart
by Gabriel Davis
Frannie, Frannie don’t go! Oh God. I’m all alone.
(Beat)
When Zelda and I were little, she stole all my Ken dolls. She said it was because my Kens weren’t good enough for my Barbies and she was going to get me better Kens. But she never did.
What she did do is have this like, Harem of Kens, my Kens, who served her Barbie queens. And after awhile I started to feel really angry about it, and I got so mad that I threw all the Kens in the garbage. Well I certainly couldn’t take them back. Those Kens had cheated on my Barbie’s with her Barbie’s.
I also took all her Barbie’s clothes and flushed them down the toilet. So then Zelda just had all these naked Barbies. She was so upset, she didn’t speak to me for a week. And I felt so very, very alone. I was convinced she actually hated me.
(Beat)
I’m so scared, I’m terrified.
This monologue is from the play Yoga Fart available digitally and in print here.
Related Monologues:
Yoga Fart
Farting Yogi
I Meditate Wrong
Flunking Yoga
Sleepless in Sukhasana
Welcome to FLY Yoga
Naked Barbies
Ken Doll Theft
Namaste Bitch
(Beat)
When Zelda and I were little, she stole all my Ken dolls. She said it was because my Kens weren’t good enough for my Barbies and she was going to get me better Kens. But she never did.
What she did do is have this like, Harem of Kens, my Kens, who served her Barbie queens. And after awhile I started to feel really angry about it, and I got so mad that I threw all the Kens in the garbage. Well I certainly couldn’t take them back. Those Kens had cheated on my Barbie’s with her Barbie’s.
I also took all her Barbie’s clothes and flushed them down the toilet. So then Zelda just had all these naked Barbies. She was so upset, she didn’t speak to me for a week. And I felt so very, very alone. I was convinced she actually hated me.
(Beat)
I’m so scared, I’m terrified.
This monologue is from the play Yoga Fart available digitally and in print here.
Related Monologues:
Yoga Fart
Farting Yogi
I Meditate Wrong
Flunking Yoga
Sleepless in Sukhasana
Welcome to FLY Yoga
Naked Barbies
Ken Doll Theft
Namaste Bitch