Monologues for Men | "Maddie's Dad" by Gabriel Davis
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Maddie's Dad
A monologue for men - can be played dramatic or comedic
by Gabriel Davis
Don't take Maddie from me, please. Whatever our differences, we will work through them. But don't keep her from her daddy. I am a good dad, I ...
This past weekend, she's on the couch with me, I'm trying to get her to color within the lines in her coloring book and at the same time I've got the TV on, flipping through the channels-
Yes, I know you think I have the TV on too much around her, but - so I'm flipping through and I notice Maddie look up when I get to this one channel. That movie The Ten Commandments is playing, you know the old one with Charlton Heston? It's on the part where he's asking the Pharaoh to free his people and Maddie, she is like mesmerized. So much so, she isn't really coloring within the lines or even within her book, but all over the couch.
I try to take the crayon out of her hand, but she pulls it away and in this sing songy voice says - "Let my people go!" Which actually got her off the couch, she ran around with the crayons saying "Let my people go" a few more times ...
It was so - it made me smile, right? So - so later on, I'm trying to have her use the little potty. Like you wanted yes - yes I bought one last week ... and she's, she's struggling, ya know. I tell her I want her to be a big girl and she ... She says "Daddy, I can't ... I can't." I tell her to just be patient but she looks like she's about to cry and ... and then the first few tears start and that's when it hits me. "Maddie, honey - what if I told you I have a magical way to help you."
The tears pause a moment .. "You do?" She says, looking curiously at me. So I ... start -
(Singing) "Let the poop flow, let the poop flow, let the poop flow ... way down to Egypt land."
There's this tense pause ... she's looking intently at me ...
(Singing) "Let the poop flow, let the poop flow, let the poop flow ... way down to Egypt land."
I keep going like this, she keeps looking intently and then ... all of a sudden I swear, I see this little sparkle in her eye- "Daddy, daddy, I think it's working!" This wave of fatherly love hits me like a Mack truck, along with another verse!
(Singing) "Go down, Maddie, way down to Egypt land, tell old tushee Pharaoh, let my poopies go."
And she's saying- "He's letting them go, daddy! He's letting my poopies go!" She's giggling now, it's infectious -
"That's WONDERFUL honey," I say. Her eyes so bright green now, emeralds, shining rays of pure unadulterated joy. There's this impossibly wide grin on her little face. She is successful.
She felt proud. I did that.
So you want to go back into that courtroom, and continue to lie about who I am. Use your family money and high powered lawyers to slaughter me in there...
I'm sorry I .. I know I betrayed your trust. I was ... foolish. I was an ass ... so go ahead, you want to tell them I was an unfit husband. Okay. But I am NOT an unfit father. I love her so much. You know I love her, and I .. I just want that chance to keep being there for her.
Please, please, I'm begging you. Don't take her from me.
This past weekend, she's on the couch with me, I'm trying to get her to color within the lines in her coloring book and at the same time I've got the TV on, flipping through the channels-
Yes, I know you think I have the TV on too much around her, but - so I'm flipping through and I notice Maddie look up when I get to this one channel. That movie The Ten Commandments is playing, you know the old one with Charlton Heston? It's on the part where he's asking the Pharaoh to free his people and Maddie, she is like mesmerized. So much so, she isn't really coloring within the lines or even within her book, but all over the couch.
I try to take the crayon out of her hand, but she pulls it away and in this sing songy voice says - "Let my people go!" Which actually got her off the couch, she ran around with the crayons saying "Let my people go" a few more times ...
It was so - it made me smile, right? So - so later on, I'm trying to have her use the little potty. Like you wanted yes - yes I bought one last week ... and she's, she's struggling, ya know. I tell her I want her to be a big girl and she ... She says "Daddy, I can't ... I can't." I tell her to just be patient but she looks like she's about to cry and ... and then the first few tears start and that's when it hits me. "Maddie, honey - what if I told you I have a magical way to help you."
The tears pause a moment .. "You do?" She says, looking curiously at me. So I ... start -
(Singing) "Let the poop flow, let the poop flow, let the poop flow ... way down to Egypt land."
There's this tense pause ... she's looking intently at me ...
(Singing) "Let the poop flow, let the poop flow, let the poop flow ... way down to Egypt land."
I keep going like this, she keeps looking intently and then ... all of a sudden I swear, I see this little sparkle in her eye- "Daddy, daddy, I think it's working!" This wave of fatherly love hits me like a Mack truck, along with another verse!
(Singing) "Go down, Maddie, way down to Egypt land, tell old tushee Pharaoh, let my poopies go."
And she's saying- "He's letting them go, daddy! He's letting my poopies go!" She's giggling now, it's infectious -
"That's WONDERFUL honey," I say. Her eyes so bright green now, emeralds, shining rays of pure unadulterated joy. There's this impossibly wide grin on her little face. She is successful.
She felt proud. I did that.
So you want to go back into that courtroom, and continue to lie about who I am. Use your family money and high powered lawyers to slaughter me in there...
I'm sorry I .. I know I betrayed your trust. I was ... foolish. I was an ass ... so go ahead, you want to tell them I was an unfit husband. Okay. But I am NOT an unfit father. I love her so much. You know I love her, and I .. I just want that chance to keep being there for her.
Please, please, I'm begging you. Don't take her from me.