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2 Minute Monologues for Women | "It's Terrible Being Nice" by Gabriel Davis


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It's Terrible Being Nice (2 Minute Monologue)
Comedic monologue under 2 minutes from the play Goodbye Charles
by Gabriel Davis

​Don’t do it! Don’t open that little box one more crack! Don’t ask me to marry you. Shh, shh, shh. Don’t say another word. Just listen. 

I can’t let you do this to me. I mean, before I met you I used be such a jerk. I mean, seriously, everyone at work thought I was a huge jerk. No one actually liked me.  Those people I introduced to you as my friends.  They're not my friends.  They're scared of me.  

But since being with you, I’ve begun to feel all...warm inside. Fuzzy. I find myself wanting to stroll in the park and whistle! 

I have these thoughts, these urges to donate to charities and help out in soup kitchens, and hug people. 

Don’t you see? Don’t you see you’re making me NICE!? And what really scares me is that you’ll open that box and ask me to marry you, and I’ll...I’ll just nicely say “yes,” and then I’ll be nice for life. 
Please, for the love of God, put that box away. I mean, the planet already has millions of nice people. It doesn’t need me too. Please, stop, don’t—I’m asking you – No, I’m begging you – I’m getting down on my knees. 

Will you please, please not marry me?


Monologue Categories:  2 minute monologues, monologues for women, contemporary monologues, monologues from plays, comedic monologues under two minutes.

The It's Terrible Being Nice monologue is from the play Goodbye Charles, available digitally (click here) and in print (click here)
MONOLOGUES


Women's
I Ate the Divorce Papers
It's Terrible Being Nice
Serial Dater
Switching Sides
Conjugal Connections
Turkey Day
Yoga Fart
Hit and Run
Fire the Boys
Grow Up Humanity
New Year's Wish
Namaste Bitch
Quiche isn't Sexy
The Matzah Thief
Un-Chatty Cathy
Death by Peanut
Deafening Applause
Surrender my Love
Space is Nicer than Here
My Father's Blue Eyes
Breaking Up with Brandon
I Kissed Marisa
I'm More Man than You
Almost 16
The Farting Yogi
12 Years Wise
Miss Havisham
The Gratitude List
Secret Identity
Indestructible Super Puppies 
Always Smiling

Men's
Frightening Wonderful Thing
Killing Chuck
The Fact Checker
Honey I'm a Leprechaun
26 Year Old Bar Mitzvah Boy