2 Minute Monologues for men | "Honey I'm a Leprechaun" by Gabriel Davis

Honey, I'm a Leprechaun (2 Minute Monologue)
Comedic monologue under 2 minutes from the play Goodbye Charles
by Gabriel Davis

Why can't you accept I'm a leprechaun? Look at the facts. There's a salary freeze but I got a raise. The market took a beating, but my stocks are up. Housing values are in the toilet, just not our house. How do you explain that rainbow in our back yard? Just lingering out there a week in low humidity!?

C’mon, you have to accept this. People change. Not usually into leprechauns but this can't come as a total surprise. You're on a Special K diet, I'm on a Lucky Charms diet... I develop five o'clock shadows at 10 am. We have to get it out in the open so we can work through it.

You know when I couldn't deny it anymore? After my physical, the sudden medically puzzling height loss. Remember how you comforted me? Said I was the same strapping man. But that night, when I came to bed you mumbled in your sleep "I love you, little fella." There it was. Little fella. The truth hurt. But you reached out and took my hand the way you always do. Because some things haven't changed.

I know it's scary. But please, accept it. Say "honey I accept that you are a leprechaun." And then we can get on with the rest of our lives. What do say?

Monologue Categories: 2 minute monologues, monologues for men, contemporary monologues, monologues from plays, comedic monologues under two minutes, relationship monologues, marriage monologues, audition, competition.