Monologues for Men or Women | "Grow Up Humanity" by Gabriel Davis

Grow Up, Humanity
Monologues for teens, young adults or old adults!  Dramatic, with light undertones of comedy.
Speaker can be male or female. 
From the one act play Hello, Goodbye, Peace
by Gabriel Davis

So you are “all of humanity”?  You are all of humanity?  All of humanity?  You are not what I expected you’d look like.  Well …   You look kinda like my 14 year old nephew.

I’m told I only have two minutes with you.   To talk some sense into you.    And I appreciate your time.   I'm told the opportunity to address you comes but once in a lifetime … No pressure, haha.

It’s just … ok, you may not like this … WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?!?   

Really!  Seriously!   You are incredibly bright and capable.   You put a man on the moon, created an international space station, flew a rover to mars!   You are on your way to growing up, becoming independent!   But you seem distracted to me.  

My nephew, he’s the same, always distracted. Always playing video games instead of doing his homework.  Obsessed with earning "virtual gold" on World of Warcraft.  

You’ve created these intricate games where you strive to achieve the highest numeric score.  Like my nephew, earning the highest possible numbers drives you. Yet the real numbers, the ones that will advance your sciences so you can move out of your “parent’s house” aka the earth ... those numbers you barely look at. Don't you want to be able to live on your own someday?  Get your own little place out in the cosmos?  That’s how you’re going to survive long term, right?  You’re certainly smart enough to do it.  But you’re distracted.

And you sure are angry a lot. Like my nephew, he's always fighting with his sister, or anticipating a fight with her, or coming up with great ways to one-up her.  He loves drama, he loves conflict. 

You frustrate me, humanity.  Because you have all the knowledge to take care of yourself, but you don't apply it.  Sure, you have small areas, tiny pockets of health, vitality.  But overall, just look at you! You’re mostly underfed, malnourished, physically unfit, under-educated.  Those numbers don't lie, buddy.

Right now, your parents' house is well stocked and you can use the resources there to mature.  To study and learn those real numbers and make something of yourself.   There's enough so you can nourish all of yourself.  But not if you keep multiplying like you've been - please keep those hormones in check.  Like I tell my nephew, there will be plenty of time for dating when you go off to college.  

Oh no.  I hear my snooze alarm going off.   I guess this is it, my two minutes is up.  I hope this is all sinking in because ... I’m going to wake up in a second.

Bottom line, you may not have the time you think you have. A rock could fall out of the sky.  You could catch a bad cold. Or have really bad weather ... bad things can happen.  Use every moment.  No more distractions, cut out the fighting and the games. Get serious.  Pull yourself together. Focus. Prepare to move out of your parent's house.
   
Grow up, Humanity.   Please.  Grow up.


This monologue is from the play Hello, Goodbye, Peace available in print here.

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MONOLOGUES


Women's
I Ate the Divorce Papers
It's Terrible Being Nice
Serial Dater
Switching Sides
Conjugal Connections
Turkey Day
Yoga Fart
Hit and Run
Fire the Boys
Grow Up Humanity


Men's
Frightening Wonderful Thing
Killing Chuck
The Fact Checker
Honey I'm a Leprechaun
26 Year Old Bar Mitzvah Boy
The Cheese Robber
Unhandy Man
Maddie's Dad
Grow Up Humanity