One Minute Monologues for Men | "Nice Catch Chuck" by Gabriel Davis
Nice Catch Chuck A comedic male monologue from the play Unbearable Hotness by Gabriel Davis
(Chuck prays to the heavens)
Oh, God, why can’t I be with her? Why!? Why!?
(Falling to his knees)
Oh, dear, God in heaven. Please, please, please if you have any mercy, please just let me have her. Just one light touch, one little kiss. A smile, I’ll even take just a smile. Or a look. She hasn’t looked at me in a week.
And last week, the only reason she looked my way is I threw my body, like a ragdoll, onto the campus green as she walked by. My perfect white jeans and white button up shirt grass stained beyond bleaching. I did it for her. I’d do it again! I was jumping to catch a Frisbee some guy had thrown to someone else. I wanted to make it look like I was one of those cool guys who plays Frisbee on the campus green. I had actually been reading Proust under a nearby tree. She saw me with the Frisbee and she was like “Nice catch Chuck.”
“Nice catch Chuck.”
She used to look at me all the time as children. Our mommies would give us baths together. There we were, covered in Johnson and Johnson baby wash, rubber ducks floating by. Why can’t it be like that anymore?