SCENES FOR TEENS: Hungry Elsa
Comedic scenes for teen actors by Gabriel Davis
Frannie is growing out of her childhood Disney princess phase. She's in high school and is nearly ready to let go of her childhood fantasy of meeting Elsa from Frozen. If only she could learn how to be as fabulous as the most popular ice queen on earth, maybe she wouldn't be so unpopular at school. After saying her final nightly prayer in which she wishes that Elsa would materialize in her room the unthinkable happens ... Elsa appears.
SCENE 1: ELSA IS HUNGRY
(Frannie is in her room, getting ready for bed, saying her nightly prayer)
FRANNIE
Dear God, please keep me safe, protect my family, and let me someday meet Elsa, the ice queen from Frozen. I know she’s not real but you’re God. So make it happen. Amen. P.S. this will be the three thousandth, one hundred and fiftieth night I have sent this prayer to you. I understand there are billions of people … but seriously. Just consider it. Ok. Amen.
Also, I’m fifteen today. So I’m technically into my third year as a teenager. I’m starting to check that young adult box. Wanting to meet Elsa is probably very weird and uncool at this point. I know this. That’s why this three thousandth one hundred and fiftieth request will indeed be my last. If it’s not answered tonight, I regret to inform you that the great dream of my childhood will die. Tonight. That’s what you’ll do by ignoring me. But I get it, people totally need fresh drinking water in Africa or whatever more than I need Elsa. So don’t like neglect them to answer my wish. It’s cool, if we have to let my first world childhood dream die and I have to live a grey meaningless life devoid of magic and wonder, I get it. I’m sure with time and years of therapy I’ll be just fine. Ok. Goodnight. Amen.
(Gets into bed. Enter Elsa).
ELSA
Hello, Frannie?
FRANNIE
Oh my God! I can’t believe this. Thank you! Hi, Hi, Hi.
ELSA
Hi …
FRANNIE
I’m Frannie.
ELSA
I’m .. Elsa.
FRANNIE
I KNOW! I mean, I know everything about you!
ELSA
I … don’t know much about you … I just know you called me from the Disneyverse to … here …
FRANNIE
Well … I’m a princess! So we have A LOT in common. Because, like, before you were queen, you were a princess like me.
ELSA
You are a … princess?
FRANNIE
I mean, I’m not a castle-dwelling princess like you were. But I live in a large three bedroom house with a sizeable two car garage and everyone here calls me princess. Like my dad, my pop pop, gram gram, various others .. they’re always saying things like:
“You’re such a princess.”
“There’s my princess.”
“Hi, Princess.”
On top of that, every year on Halloween, I wear a princess costume. Disney of course. Disney has the best princesses. And the best of them is Elsa, is you.
ELSA
Thanks?
FRANNIE
Ever since I could speak words, I’ve loved you. Ok, I wanted to be you. I am fan girling out here, I know.
But I’ve had an Elsa dress that I wear every year on Hallow… ok, not just for Halloween, it’s basically a uniform that my mom has been buying me in the next size up from, ah, age three until just last week.
No, I definitely stopped at some appropriate age like seven or eight or never. No, I’m 15 now and, except for Halloween, I haven’t worn an Elsa costume for years ... outside my room.
ELSA
Yes … my “costume” is quite popular here. Yet you are afraid to wear it outside, where others can see it?
FRANNIE
I mean, you can’t really wear your princess outfit out after a certain point. I mean, half the girls at my school, two or three years ago, they all wore princess dresses to school. Mostly Disney princesses. Up until two or three years ago, we all openly agreed that we were all princesses .. but slowly everyone stopped agreeing to that.
We weren’t all beautiful, enchanted royalty anymore … only some of us. The ones that ruled the school, the Princess posse.
They still get to live an enchanted life, and the rest of us find ourselves … wishing to still be in touch with the part of us that believed.. but losing our belief. It’s harder and harder to look in the mirror and see a Princess staring back.
Obviously, they still believe they’re princesses and it shows .
.Oh how they glow. What’s their secret Elsa?
ELSA
It’s simple. It’s the same for all Disney Princesses. We’re hungry.
FRANNIE
For what? An enchanted life? Happily ever afters?
ELSA
Carbs. Cheese. Ice cream.
FRANNIE
So … you’re saying …
ELSA
We are on restrictive diets. That’s “the magic of Disney”.
FRANNIE
The secret to being a Princess is …
ELSA
Being a Thincess, yep.
FRANNIE
No, not all Disney princesses are …
ELSA
Yes we are, thin, every one of us. And not just thin. Impossibly thin. With incredibly small hineys.
FRANNIE
What about Moanna?
ELSA
Everyone says Moanna. You haven’t disproven anything with one Moanna. Is her waist a little more normal, sure. But her hiney: still tiny!
Anyway, it’s not about some minor exception. It’s about the overall body of work. And historically that body has been on the impossibly skinny side.
I mean take me, I’m their number one highest grossing Princess of all time … technically a Queen, but still impossibly thin. Recognized and adored the world over by young impressionable minds.
I mean, I am everywhere young girls like you are as you grow and as you develop. I’m on your televisions, your iPads, your coloring books, your stickers, your lunchboxes, even your underwear!
For most of your conscious life, I’ve been there … and my presence has installed a belief deep down inside of you. You want to be me.
FRANNIE
Yes …
ELSA
Well let me tell you my real secret. I wish I was you.
FRANNIE
Me?
ELSA
When was the last time you ate pizza?
FRANNIE
Friday.
ELSA
Ice cream?
FRANNIE
Yesterday.
ELSA
Chocolate?
FRANNIE
Today.
ELSA
I wish I could do that.
FRANNIE
Why can’t you?
ELSA
The good people of Disney! Look at what they’ve done to me!
They gave me a love of chocolate, but not a scene to eat it in.
Like … one of my big bonding moments with Anna in the opening act of Frozen is talking about chocolate but not actually eating it.
You remember, it’s coronation day. The good people of Disney have kept me starving in an icy room by myself for a decade and the whole time they’ve kept Anna just as hungry on an extreme calorie burn running, biking and jumping around the castle.
Ten plus years apart, we are finally together in the palace ballroom and what do we say to eachother? “Oooh what’s that smell? Mmmm, chocolate!” It’s basically our first happy moment since we were kids.
But before we can follow our bliss and eat the chocolate, they have me get all pissy with Anna and push her away, and then Anna runs off to sing a love song duet with Hans in which she wierdly reveals that her idea of love is “finishing eachothers sandwiches”. Of course Hanse doesn’t actually give her a sandwich. After that she comes back to the ballroom and talks to me about the “soup, roast, and ice cream” she wants at her wedding, which of course I say no to, and when Anna pushes it, I lose it and freeze everything before we can eat any chocolate.
I’m just saying, is my problem REALLY the ice powers? I mean, when I finally sing let it go, is that really “letting it go”? I mean, I’m in a barren wasteland of ice and snow with no god damn chocolate anywhere in sight. This is letting it go? The whole thing seems like a big excuse to avoid eating chocolate.
FRANNIE
But I mean, it’s a beautiful song about letting your pent up feelings out, freeing yourself.
ELSA
Then they came out with the Frozen Featurettes. Frozen Fever was one, it’s like a big birthday bash for Anna in which neither of us take one bite of a huge ice cream cake. Basically in that one as soon as the ice cream cake is served, we excuse ourselves early because of my “fever” . And then they did Olaf’s Frozen Adventure in which we plan a big banquet, but when no one comes they have us just leave all the food there untouched and manufacture some drama about not having any holiday tradition. Hey, our tradition was right there in the banquet hall, why can’t we eat it?
Finally, they came out with Frozen 2, and it’s like, yay we’re going to have a harvest feast, but then they have me spend the whole time making the kids ice sculptures and then shortly later I’m too preoccupied chasing spirits and learning how to live my best life, there’s really no space for chocolate or eating of any kind.
Through all of it, they have made sure I maintain my beautiful stick figure. Cmon, disney!
I just think when they inevitably make Frozen 3, in that one I should really let myself go. Ya know. Like discover I can use my powers to make ice cream. And then I can just cover the north mountain with ice cream and bury my face in it in a moment of pure and beautiful gluttony.
Let me eat
Let me eat
I want an ice cream treat
Here’s my mouth
And here’s my cone
Zap! I can make ice cream!
And I can pig out on it alone!
Yeah.
Yeah, I know Disney is unlikely to come out with that version of Frozen 3. I’m probably not destined to be an Icecream queen. My waist size, like the degrees celcius at which I freeze water, will remain zero.
FRANNIE
Wow … um … this is not playing out like the fantasy I had in my head.
ELSA
I would gladly trade my Ice Castle for the chocolate you ate today, the Castle of Arendelle for the Ice Cream you ate yesterday, and Kristoff for the Pizza you ate Friday.
FRANNIE
Why Kristoff?
ELSA
Anna can do way better.
FRANNIE
But it was so beautiful in Frozen 2 when he told her “my love is not fragile.”
ELSA
Yeah but you know what is fragile? My patience for Kristoff. That guy! No, I’m just kidding. Sort of.
I mean, he may be fictional, but his BO is real. You feel me, girl?
FRANNIE
Ummm, yeah, I mean like for sure and, um … this whole thing has been … it’s definitely a dream I’ve had forever to meet you so … um, check one off the ole bucket list, right? But, ah, it is time for me to turn in and I’m sure you have to get back so …
ELSA
Back? Where? To the food tundra of Arrendelle? No, no, no, no …you see you summoned me … so ah … I’m here .. to stay. Where do I sleep?
FRANNIE
Wait, what now?
ELSA
For me … a moment ago I was in the end of Frozen 2, I was riding the water nock across a frozen ocean toward a beautiful sunset, pretending in my mind it was a giant scoop of glowing ice cream, and then suddenly I hear this voice, your voice … your wish to meet me, and then it’s like this wormhole vortex thing opened up and sucked me in and then whoosh, bam – I’m here.
Here. In the real world, like a real girl. And I am hungry like a real girl. Hungry for chocolate and …
I’m not going anywhere until I figure out a way to eat some chocolate.
FRANNIE
Um, I can just give you a chocolate bar.
ELSA
And then what?
FRANNIE
And then you put it in your mouth.
ELSA
And then what?
FRANNIE
You chew … and … Here, I have a candy bar …. Right here.
ELSA
(Holds up the bar, singing)
Ahh ahh ahh ahh
You are the bar I’ve been waiting for all of my life.
Oh unwrap yourself.
I’m ready to eat!
FRANNIE
You have to unwrap it. Here, let me help you…
Here you go …
ELSA
Here I go …
(She moves it toward her mouth and then hits an invisible barrier. She strains against it)
Ahhhhhhhhh…
Oh no …
FRANNIE
What’s going on right now?
ELSA
You tell me. You’re the one who summoned me. Then offered me chocolate. And now you won’t let me eat it!
FRANNIE
I won’t?
ELSA
When I tried to take this and bring it to my mouth I could feel you fighting it.
FRANNIE
Me?
ELSA
Your imagination – like the imaginations of girls everywhere – cannot fathom a world where I …
FRANNIE
You can totally eat the …you are your own person..
ELSA
I am part of young female consciousness the world over, I cannot do what your consciousness cannot believe.
FRANNIE
But … I believe, I believe!
ELSA
Words, only words. You cannot imagine me gorging myself on a bucket of sweet treats.
FRANNIE
I’m seeing it in my mind now!
ELSA
But does that image in your mind, does it feel real to you? It doesn’t quite, does it? It doesn’t actually feel like something I would do… Until you can actually believe, I fear I cannot leave this realm.
FRANNIE
I mean … you can’t actually stay here in this “realm” can you?
ELSA
What else can I do? You called me here for a reason.
To learn to feel like a princess, right?
FRANNIE
Right…
ELSA
And you didn’t expect it to be a diet plan.
FRANNIE
No
ELSA
But the truth is when you look in the mirror … you no longer see the princess you did as a little girl.
I call it the princess paradox.
As a little girl my image lifted you up. You imagined yourself as me filled with magic, power, beauty. I lit up your heart with wonder and awe.
And at some point, as you reached your teens, your mind started scanning my body against yours.
Like nearly every girl in the world, except for a very few, you started to feel the discomfort of a body not matched to the image of “princess.”
And in that realization, the very same princess image that had made you feel empowered as a child, now scratches at your self esteem like a splinter in your mind.
I lifted you up only to make you feel you don’t measure up.
So that’s why I’m here.
FRANNIE
To make me feel bad about myself?
ELSA
To change the image of “princess” that you have in your mind.
So that you can truly feel again, as you did when you were a child, that you are a Disney Princess.
And when you truly feel that way, then I will be able to eat chocolate.
And ice cream.
And pizza.
FRANNIE
And that sounds great, noble, etcetera but … reality check … I’ve got parents, and I’ve got school tomorrow.
ELSA
Oooh, school. I’ve always wondered what real school was like. Anna and I had tutors until the incident where I froze Anna’s head. After that dad basically had to fire most of the staff including my tutors to keep my secret safe … no one talks about all the layoffs my mishap caused, but boy Dad really cleaned house, I mean, there were some disgruntled ladies in waiting waiting on the unemployment line if you know what I mean… anyhoo, after that my mom and dad took it on themselves to teach me, so I never did get to experience a real school. I bet they have a school Cafeteria!
FRANNIE
They do. This can’t be actually happening.
I mean, you can’t just come to school with me. They have rules.
Let alone, what will I tell mom and dad about you?
ELSA
We will figure it out. We will face this thing together.
FRANNIE
That’s what Anna said to you before you froze her heart.
ELSA
I’ve learned to be more collaborative since then.
FRANNIE
Like how you sent Anna away in a frozen ice boat?
ELSA
That was to protect her. Look, we really will figure things out ... But in the morning ok?
I mean, for me Frozen 2 just ended. It was quite an exhausting journey of self discovery. I mean, you’ve seen it.
FRANNIE
Only a few … hundred … times.
ELSA
So you get it. I’m tuckered. Can we go to sleep? I’m sure things will look clearer in the morning.
Yes …
FRANNIE
Alright…alright, so … you are sleeping over … this is really happening … you’ll need … let me get out the sleeping bag …
(Frannie rummages in a closet)
ELSA
Perfect, and I’ll just take this bed.
(Getting into bed. Frannie emerges, sleeping bag in hand)
FRANNIE
Oh, I meant …
ELSA
If Olaf were here, he’d tell us that in the morning, we’ll be a little bit older and wiser and … everything will just make sense.
I’m sure of it.
END OF SCENE 1
Frannie is growing out of her childhood Disney princess phase. She's in high school and is nearly ready to let go of her childhood fantasy of meeting Elsa from Frozen. If only she could learn how to be as fabulous as the most popular ice queen on earth, maybe she wouldn't be so unpopular at school. After saying her final nightly prayer in which she wishes that Elsa would materialize in her room the unthinkable happens ... Elsa appears.
SCENE 1: ELSA IS HUNGRY
(Frannie is in her room, getting ready for bed, saying her nightly prayer)
FRANNIE
Dear God, please keep me safe, protect my family, and let me someday meet Elsa, the ice queen from Frozen. I know she’s not real but you’re God. So make it happen. Amen. P.S. this will be the three thousandth, one hundred and fiftieth night I have sent this prayer to you. I understand there are billions of people … but seriously. Just consider it. Ok. Amen.
Also, I’m fifteen today. So I’m technically into my third year as a teenager. I’m starting to check that young adult box. Wanting to meet Elsa is probably very weird and uncool at this point. I know this. That’s why this three thousandth one hundred and fiftieth request will indeed be my last. If it’s not answered tonight, I regret to inform you that the great dream of my childhood will die. Tonight. That’s what you’ll do by ignoring me. But I get it, people totally need fresh drinking water in Africa or whatever more than I need Elsa. So don’t like neglect them to answer my wish. It’s cool, if we have to let my first world childhood dream die and I have to live a grey meaningless life devoid of magic and wonder, I get it. I’m sure with time and years of therapy I’ll be just fine. Ok. Goodnight. Amen.
(Gets into bed. Enter Elsa).
ELSA
Hello, Frannie?
FRANNIE
Oh my God! I can’t believe this. Thank you! Hi, Hi, Hi.
ELSA
Hi …
FRANNIE
I’m Frannie.
ELSA
I’m .. Elsa.
FRANNIE
I KNOW! I mean, I know everything about you!
ELSA
I … don’t know much about you … I just know you called me from the Disneyverse to … here …
FRANNIE
Well … I’m a princess! So we have A LOT in common. Because, like, before you were queen, you were a princess like me.
ELSA
You are a … princess?
FRANNIE
I mean, I’m not a castle-dwelling princess like you were. But I live in a large three bedroom house with a sizeable two car garage and everyone here calls me princess. Like my dad, my pop pop, gram gram, various others .. they’re always saying things like:
“You’re such a princess.”
“There’s my princess.”
“Hi, Princess.”
On top of that, every year on Halloween, I wear a princess costume. Disney of course. Disney has the best princesses. And the best of them is Elsa, is you.
ELSA
Thanks?
FRANNIE
Ever since I could speak words, I’ve loved you. Ok, I wanted to be you. I am fan girling out here, I know.
But I’ve had an Elsa dress that I wear every year on Hallow… ok, not just for Halloween, it’s basically a uniform that my mom has been buying me in the next size up from, ah, age three until just last week.
No, I definitely stopped at some appropriate age like seven or eight or never. No, I’m 15 now and, except for Halloween, I haven’t worn an Elsa costume for years ... outside my room.
ELSA
Yes … my “costume” is quite popular here. Yet you are afraid to wear it outside, where others can see it?
FRANNIE
I mean, you can’t really wear your princess outfit out after a certain point. I mean, half the girls at my school, two or three years ago, they all wore princess dresses to school. Mostly Disney princesses. Up until two or three years ago, we all openly agreed that we were all princesses .. but slowly everyone stopped agreeing to that.
We weren’t all beautiful, enchanted royalty anymore … only some of us. The ones that ruled the school, the Princess posse.
They still get to live an enchanted life, and the rest of us find ourselves … wishing to still be in touch with the part of us that believed.. but losing our belief. It’s harder and harder to look in the mirror and see a Princess staring back.
Obviously, they still believe they’re princesses and it shows .
.Oh how they glow. What’s their secret Elsa?
ELSA
It’s simple. It’s the same for all Disney Princesses. We’re hungry.
FRANNIE
For what? An enchanted life? Happily ever afters?
ELSA
Carbs. Cheese. Ice cream.
FRANNIE
So … you’re saying …
ELSA
We are on restrictive diets. That’s “the magic of Disney”.
FRANNIE
The secret to being a Princess is …
ELSA
Being a Thincess, yep.
FRANNIE
No, not all Disney princesses are …
ELSA
Yes we are, thin, every one of us. And not just thin. Impossibly thin. With incredibly small hineys.
FRANNIE
What about Moanna?
ELSA
Everyone says Moanna. You haven’t disproven anything with one Moanna. Is her waist a little more normal, sure. But her hiney: still tiny!
Anyway, it’s not about some minor exception. It’s about the overall body of work. And historically that body has been on the impossibly skinny side.
I mean take me, I’m their number one highest grossing Princess of all time … technically a Queen, but still impossibly thin. Recognized and adored the world over by young impressionable minds.
I mean, I am everywhere young girls like you are as you grow and as you develop. I’m on your televisions, your iPads, your coloring books, your stickers, your lunchboxes, even your underwear!
For most of your conscious life, I’ve been there … and my presence has installed a belief deep down inside of you. You want to be me.
FRANNIE
Yes …
ELSA
Well let me tell you my real secret. I wish I was you.
FRANNIE
Me?
ELSA
When was the last time you ate pizza?
FRANNIE
Friday.
ELSA
Ice cream?
FRANNIE
Yesterday.
ELSA
Chocolate?
FRANNIE
Today.
ELSA
I wish I could do that.
FRANNIE
Why can’t you?
ELSA
The good people of Disney! Look at what they’ve done to me!
They gave me a love of chocolate, but not a scene to eat it in.
Like … one of my big bonding moments with Anna in the opening act of Frozen is talking about chocolate but not actually eating it.
You remember, it’s coronation day. The good people of Disney have kept me starving in an icy room by myself for a decade and the whole time they’ve kept Anna just as hungry on an extreme calorie burn running, biking and jumping around the castle.
Ten plus years apart, we are finally together in the palace ballroom and what do we say to eachother? “Oooh what’s that smell? Mmmm, chocolate!” It’s basically our first happy moment since we were kids.
But before we can follow our bliss and eat the chocolate, they have me get all pissy with Anna and push her away, and then Anna runs off to sing a love song duet with Hans in which she wierdly reveals that her idea of love is “finishing eachothers sandwiches”. Of course Hanse doesn’t actually give her a sandwich. After that she comes back to the ballroom and talks to me about the “soup, roast, and ice cream” she wants at her wedding, which of course I say no to, and when Anna pushes it, I lose it and freeze everything before we can eat any chocolate.
I’m just saying, is my problem REALLY the ice powers? I mean, when I finally sing let it go, is that really “letting it go”? I mean, I’m in a barren wasteland of ice and snow with no god damn chocolate anywhere in sight. This is letting it go? The whole thing seems like a big excuse to avoid eating chocolate.
FRANNIE
But I mean, it’s a beautiful song about letting your pent up feelings out, freeing yourself.
ELSA
Then they came out with the Frozen Featurettes. Frozen Fever was one, it’s like a big birthday bash for Anna in which neither of us take one bite of a huge ice cream cake. Basically in that one as soon as the ice cream cake is served, we excuse ourselves early because of my “fever” . And then they did Olaf’s Frozen Adventure in which we plan a big banquet, but when no one comes they have us just leave all the food there untouched and manufacture some drama about not having any holiday tradition. Hey, our tradition was right there in the banquet hall, why can’t we eat it?
Finally, they came out with Frozen 2, and it’s like, yay we’re going to have a harvest feast, but then they have me spend the whole time making the kids ice sculptures and then shortly later I’m too preoccupied chasing spirits and learning how to live my best life, there’s really no space for chocolate or eating of any kind.
Through all of it, they have made sure I maintain my beautiful stick figure. Cmon, disney!
I just think when they inevitably make Frozen 3, in that one I should really let myself go. Ya know. Like discover I can use my powers to make ice cream. And then I can just cover the north mountain with ice cream and bury my face in it in a moment of pure and beautiful gluttony.
Let me eat
Let me eat
I want an ice cream treat
Here’s my mouth
And here’s my cone
Zap! I can make ice cream!
And I can pig out on it alone!
Yeah.
Yeah, I know Disney is unlikely to come out with that version of Frozen 3. I’m probably not destined to be an Icecream queen. My waist size, like the degrees celcius at which I freeze water, will remain zero.
FRANNIE
Wow … um … this is not playing out like the fantasy I had in my head.
ELSA
I would gladly trade my Ice Castle for the chocolate you ate today, the Castle of Arendelle for the Ice Cream you ate yesterday, and Kristoff for the Pizza you ate Friday.
FRANNIE
Why Kristoff?
ELSA
Anna can do way better.
FRANNIE
But it was so beautiful in Frozen 2 when he told her “my love is not fragile.”
ELSA
Yeah but you know what is fragile? My patience for Kristoff. That guy! No, I’m just kidding. Sort of.
I mean, he may be fictional, but his BO is real. You feel me, girl?
FRANNIE
Ummm, yeah, I mean like for sure and, um … this whole thing has been … it’s definitely a dream I’ve had forever to meet you so … um, check one off the ole bucket list, right? But, ah, it is time for me to turn in and I’m sure you have to get back so …
ELSA
Back? Where? To the food tundra of Arrendelle? No, no, no, no …you see you summoned me … so ah … I’m here .. to stay. Where do I sleep?
FRANNIE
Wait, what now?
ELSA
For me … a moment ago I was in the end of Frozen 2, I was riding the water nock across a frozen ocean toward a beautiful sunset, pretending in my mind it was a giant scoop of glowing ice cream, and then suddenly I hear this voice, your voice … your wish to meet me, and then it’s like this wormhole vortex thing opened up and sucked me in and then whoosh, bam – I’m here.
Here. In the real world, like a real girl. And I am hungry like a real girl. Hungry for chocolate and …
I’m not going anywhere until I figure out a way to eat some chocolate.
FRANNIE
Um, I can just give you a chocolate bar.
ELSA
And then what?
FRANNIE
And then you put it in your mouth.
ELSA
And then what?
FRANNIE
You chew … and … Here, I have a candy bar …. Right here.
ELSA
(Holds up the bar, singing)
Ahh ahh ahh ahh
You are the bar I’ve been waiting for all of my life.
Oh unwrap yourself.
I’m ready to eat!
FRANNIE
You have to unwrap it. Here, let me help you…
Here you go …
ELSA
Here I go …
(She moves it toward her mouth and then hits an invisible barrier. She strains against it)
Ahhhhhhhhh…
Oh no …
FRANNIE
What’s going on right now?
ELSA
You tell me. You’re the one who summoned me. Then offered me chocolate. And now you won’t let me eat it!
FRANNIE
I won’t?
ELSA
When I tried to take this and bring it to my mouth I could feel you fighting it.
FRANNIE
Me?
ELSA
Your imagination – like the imaginations of girls everywhere – cannot fathom a world where I …
FRANNIE
You can totally eat the …you are your own person..
ELSA
I am part of young female consciousness the world over, I cannot do what your consciousness cannot believe.
FRANNIE
But … I believe, I believe!
ELSA
Words, only words. You cannot imagine me gorging myself on a bucket of sweet treats.
FRANNIE
I’m seeing it in my mind now!
ELSA
But does that image in your mind, does it feel real to you? It doesn’t quite, does it? It doesn’t actually feel like something I would do… Until you can actually believe, I fear I cannot leave this realm.
FRANNIE
I mean … you can’t actually stay here in this “realm” can you?
ELSA
What else can I do? You called me here for a reason.
To learn to feel like a princess, right?
FRANNIE
Right…
ELSA
And you didn’t expect it to be a diet plan.
FRANNIE
No
ELSA
But the truth is when you look in the mirror … you no longer see the princess you did as a little girl.
I call it the princess paradox.
As a little girl my image lifted you up. You imagined yourself as me filled with magic, power, beauty. I lit up your heart with wonder and awe.
And at some point, as you reached your teens, your mind started scanning my body against yours.
Like nearly every girl in the world, except for a very few, you started to feel the discomfort of a body not matched to the image of “princess.”
And in that realization, the very same princess image that had made you feel empowered as a child, now scratches at your self esteem like a splinter in your mind.
I lifted you up only to make you feel you don’t measure up.
So that’s why I’m here.
FRANNIE
To make me feel bad about myself?
ELSA
To change the image of “princess” that you have in your mind.
So that you can truly feel again, as you did when you were a child, that you are a Disney Princess.
And when you truly feel that way, then I will be able to eat chocolate.
And ice cream.
And pizza.
FRANNIE
And that sounds great, noble, etcetera but … reality check … I’ve got parents, and I’ve got school tomorrow.
ELSA
Oooh, school. I’ve always wondered what real school was like. Anna and I had tutors until the incident where I froze Anna’s head. After that dad basically had to fire most of the staff including my tutors to keep my secret safe … no one talks about all the layoffs my mishap caused, but boy Dad really cleaned house, I mean, there were some disgruntled ladies in waiting waiting on the unemployment line if you know what I mean… anyhoo, after that my mom and dad took it on themselves to teach me, so I never did get to experience a real school. I bet they have a school Cafeteria!
FRANNIE
They do. This can’t be actually happening.
I mean, you can’t just come to school with me. They have rules.
Let alone, what will I tell mom and dad about you?
ELSA
We will figure it out. We will face this thing together.
FRANNIE
That’s what Anna said to you before you froze her heart.
ELSA
I’ve learned to be more collaborative since then.
FRANNIE
Like how you sent Anna away in a frozen ice boat?
ELSA
That was to protect her. Look, we really will figure things out ... But in the morning ok?
I mean, for me Frozen 2 just ended. It was quite an exhausting journey of self discovery. I mean, you’ve seen it.
FRANNIE
Only a few … hundred … times.
ELSA
So you get it. I’m tuckered. Can we go to sleep? I’m sure things will look clearer in the morning.
Yes …
FRANNIE
Alright…alright, so … you are sleeping over … this is really happening … you’ll need … let me get out the sleeping bag …
(Frannie rummages in a closet)
ELSA
Perfect, and I’ll just take this bed.
(Getting into bed. Frannie emerges, sleeping bag in hand)
FRANNIE
Oh, I meant …
ELSA
If Olaf were here, he’d tell us that in the morning, we’ll be a little bit older and wiser and … everything will just make sense.
I’m sure of it.
END OF SCENE 1