A young woman decides to be a grown up and get fresh fruits and veggies at the market to cook for dinner. Unfortunately, with natural fresh foods come natural things like wasps. One gets into her purse, where she is stung while reaching for her keys, and it then migrates to her hair. A relaxing trip to the market ends in the urgent care as an allergic reaction takes hold. So much for fresh food, next Friday "Taco Godamned Bell."
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From 222 More Comedy Monologues 2 Minutes and Under: The Ultimate Audition Series Volume 5

A stripper with aspirations of acting in Shakespeare meets a woman trapped in an abusive relationship and hatches a plan of Shakespearean proportions to help the woman. Murder most foul..
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From 222 More Comedy Monologues 2 Minutes and Under: The Ultimate Audition Series Volume 5

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A businesswoman confesses to her male Scottish coworker that she has a thing for Scottish guys and can no longer work with him professionally. Therefore, she tells him, she's done the only rational thing in the situation, given her boss her two minute notice and quit the company thereby freeing herself up for a date with him.

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From 222 More Comedy Monologues 2 Minutes and Under: The Ultimate Audition Series Volume 5

1-Sentence Summary: A secretary who has just been fired is psyched because she's free to pursue her true passion: becoming a hip hop artist that raps about clerical work called "White Out."

Appreciated: That the rap is genuinely funny. The monologue has that "I've got nothing to lose" Jerry McGuire "I'm taking these fish" because I no longer give a f##** type energy. She's raging against the machine by showing that she's more clever and talented than the person (Diana) who just fired her.

Age Range 20's
​Character's gender is female.
Character's name is Jessica
Monologue genre is comedic.
Find this monologue in the play "Hold Please" by Annie Weisman and in the collection of monologues "The Ultimate Audition Book Vol 4: 222 Monologues 2 Minutes and Under" on page 51.

​Monologue Writing 101 Elements (0 = Not Used. 1 = Used. 2 = Strong Usage)
​1. Strong Want - 2. To prove she's fine, unhurt by the firing, that she's got plenty to offer and will thrive. To keep her head held high.
2. High Stakes - 1. Her own self-confidence and pride.
3. Tactical Variety - 1. Downgrades the intelligence and originality of the person who fired her, demonstrates her own possession of those very traits. Shows she is emotionally strong, resilient, and will rise in joy (not fall) as a result of her firing.
4. Hook Opener - 0.5. Hook comes after first 10-15 seconds with "I'm psyched to be fired because now I can pursue my true interest. Hip hop music." It's a good hook. If it opened the monologue would rank higher. However, it's preceded by a few sentences which I actually really like but heard standalone outside the play's context may not make the dramatic situation as immediately/quickly understood.
5. Button Finish - 1. "I want to be the first rap artist with exclusively clerical content. My name is gonna be White Out"
6. Sensory - 0
7. Internal Obstacles - 1. Own self doubt.
8. Past/Present Balance - 0
9. Discovery - 1.
10. Restraint - 1. Trying to stay upbeat, strong. Inside perhaps feeling shaken, hurt.
TOTAL "ELEMENT USAGE WEIGHT": 8.5

Tags: Comedic female monologues, Comedic monologues for women, Womens monologues, Audition monologues for women, Contemporary monologues, Modern monologues, Monologues from published plays, comedy monologues, comedic monologues, funny monologues, humorous monologues, 2 minute monologues, hilarious monologues, monologues for young women, strong outspoken female characters, sassy monologues, monologues about work and office life.

1-Sentence Summary: After realizing that she and her date (a mathematician) are not a good match, Sara explains to her date that while she's not interested in him as a person she was planning to get laid so can they cut the boring and tedious small talk and skip to the pleasurable part of the evening?

Appreciated: Depiction of a strong outspoken woman who knows what she wants and owns her sexuality unabashedly.

Age Range 20's
​Character's gender is female.
Monologue genre is comedic.
Find this monologue in the collection of short plays "Plays for Three" in the play "Sex with a Mathematician" by Pete Barry.
Monologue starts with the line "Listen, Shirty" and ends with "Let's skip the torture and jump right to the pleasure. (Sizes him up) In whatever quantities we can get it."

​Monologue Writing 101 Elements (0 = Not Used. 1 = Used. 2 = Strong Usage)
​1. Strong Want - 1. To get laid.
2. High Stakes - 0.5
3. Tactical Variety - 2. To break the stigma of casual sex "we're just mammals." To get him to own up to how bad the internet dating service screwed up. To set herself apart from how most women she (and likely he) knows and why she love vets by different rules. All tactics serve to sell him on the idea.
4. Hook Opener - 2. Two words grab attention, show spunk, and establish her character's persona fast. Unique word choice "Shirty."
5. Button Finish - 2. Gives the actress an active reaction to play as she sizes he guy up. Comic gold potentially here. Try different deliveries with colleagues! Humor comes from the honest emotional moment. So what genuine reaction to the guy might someone be having that would make you giggle if you witnessed it?
6. Sensory - 0
7. Internal Obstacles - 0
8. Past/Present Balance - 0. All present action here. That's a good thing! (IF a monologue is a rememberence then it must be connected to and furthering the active present moment in some way).
9. Discovery - 1. If Sara doesn't know she's going to be so blunt (until the moment she is) it will have more power than if she had planned to say it or this is a shtick she uses frequently.
10. Restraint - 1. Understanding the moment before a monologue is key here. If Sara was biting her tongue and suffering inside the whole date until this moment, then she's been restraining her frustration until this moment when she releases it. This monologue is in part fantasy fulfillment. The thing we wish we were brave enough to come out and say. Sara likely feeling no liberated as she blows past the normal human fear of hurting the person she's with to being brutally honest.
TOTAL "ELEMENT USAGE WEIGHT": 9.5

Loved this one!

Tags: Comedic female monologues, Comedic monologues for women, Womens monologues, Audition monologues for women, Contemporary monologues, Modern monologues, Monologues from published plays, comedy monologues, comedic monologues, funny monologues, humorous monologues, 1 minute monologues, hilarious monologues, monologues for young women, strong outspoken female characters, sassy monologues, monologues about dating.

1-Sentence Summary: A frustrated video store employee who just quit her job at Galaxy Video begs for it back.

Appreciated: Love the journey she takes, from struggling with the fact that she hates people (especially video store customers who ask dumb questions and put videos back in the wrong sections), looking inward to find out why (she can do that, look inward, because she "takes Yoga"), going to her and therapist to explore deeper, to realize it's because she's a talented stick figure artist. She draws stick figures!

Age Range 20's to 30's.
​Character's gender is female.
Monologue genre is comedic.
Find this monologue on page 44 of "222 Comedy Monologues: 2 Minutes and Under."

​Monologue Writing 101 Elements (0 = Not Used. 1 = Used. 2 = Strong Usage)
​1. Strong Want - 1
2. High Stakes - 0.5
3. Tactical Variety - 0
4. Hook Opener - 0.5
5. Button Finish - 1
6. Sensory - 0.5
7. Internal Obstacles - 2
8. Past/Present Balance - 2
9. Discovery - 1
10. Restraint - 1
TOTAL "ELEMENT USAGE WEIGHT": 9.5

Loved this monologue!

Tags: Comedic female monologues, Comedic monologues for women, Womens monologues, Audition monologues for women, Contemporary monologues, Modern monologues, Monologues from published plays, comedy monologues, comedic monologues, funny monologues, humorous monologues, 2 minute monologues.