Nicely paced rendition of FIRE THE BOYS monologue for women.  From the play "Hello, Goodbye, Peace."  

Excellent female audition piece: Nina Mansfield’s monologue “Bite Me” from the play of the same name.

She's sassy, she's powerful, she's pissed .... and she's not afraid to mace a vampire in the parking lot. And then turn the tables on that sucker ... pun intended. Turning a creature of the night into HER prisoner!

Look for monologue starting with the line “So there he is stunned from the spray..”

Actress Erica Villanueva cooks up some YOGA FARTS in her kitchen as part of Phase Eight Theatre' Company's KITCHEN MONOLOGUES series.  Read YOGA FART, the play.

Actress Pascale Serp's performance of the female comedic monologue QUICHE ISN'T SEXY.  Get the full play QUICHE ISN'T SEXY here.

Actress Hali Saulim's performance of "I Ate the Divorce Papers" monologue from the play GOODBYE CHARLES.

1-Sentence Summary: After realizing that she and her date (a mathematician) are not a good match, Sara explains to her date that while she's not interested in him as a person she was planning to get laid so can they cut the boring and tedious small talk and skip to the pleasurable part of the evening?

Appreciated: Depiction of a strong outspoken woman who knows what she wants and owns her sexuality unabashedly.

Age Range 20's
​Character's gender is female.
Monologue genre is comedic.
Find this monologue in the collection of short plays "Plays for Three" in the play "Sex with a Mathematician" by Pete Barry.
Monologue starts with the line "Listen, Shirty" and ends with "Let's skip the torture and jump right to the pleasure. (Sizes him up) In whatever quantities we can get it."

​Monologue Writing 101 Elements (0 = Not Used. 1 = Used. 2 = Strong Usage)
​1. Strong Want - 1. To get laid.
2. High Stakes - 0.5
3. Tactical Variety - 2. To break the stigma of casual sex "we're just mammals." To get him to own up to how bad the internet dating service screwed up. To set herself apart from how most women she (and likely he) knows and why she love vets by different rules. All tactics serve to sell him on the idea.
4. Hook Opener - 2. Two words grab attention, show spunk, and establish her character's persona fast. Unique word choice "Shirty."
5. Button Finish - 2. Gives the actress an active reaction to play as she sizes he guy up. Comic gold potentially here. Try different deliveries with colleagues! Humor comes from the honest emotional moment. So what genuine reaction to the guy might someone be having that would make you giggle if you witnessed it?
6. Sensory - 0
7. Internal Obstacles - 0
8. Past/Present Balance - 0. All present action here. That's a good thing! (IF a monologue is a rememberence then it must be connected to and furthering the active present moment in some way).
9. Discovery - 1. If Sara doesn't know she's going to be so blunt (until the moment she is) it will have more power than if she had planned to say it or this is a shtick she uses frequently.
10. Restraint - 1. Understanding the moment before a monologue is key here. If Sara was biting her tongue and suffering inside the whole date until this moment, then she's been restraining her frustration until this moment when she releases it. This monologue is in part fantasy fulfillment. The thing we wish we were brave enough to come out and say. Sara likely feeling no liberated as she blows past the normal human fear of hurting the person she's with to being brutally honest.
TOTAL "ELEMENT USAGE WEIGHT": 9.5

Loved this one!

Tags: Comedic female monologues, Comedic monologues for women, Womens monologues, Audition monologues for women, Contemporary monologues, Modern monologues, Monologues from published plays, comedy monologues, comedic monologues, funny monologues, humorous monologues, 1 minute monologues, hilarious monologues, monologues for young women, strong outspoken female characters, sassy monologues, monologues about dating.

1-Sentence Summary: A frustrated video store employee who just quit her job at Galaxy Video begs for it back.

Appreciated: Love the journey she takes, from struggling with the fact that she hates people (especially video store customers who ask dumb questions and put videos back in the wrong sections), looking inward to find out why (she can do that, look inward, because she "takes Yoga"), going to her and therapist to explore deeper, to realize it's because she's a talented stick figure artist. She draws stick figures!

Age Range 20's to 30's.
​Character's gender is female.
Monologue genre is comedic.
Find this monologue on page 44 of "222 Comedy Monologues: 2 Minutes and Under."

​Monologue Writing 101 Elements (0 = Not Used. 1 = Used. 2 = Strong Usage)
​1. Strong Want - 1
2. High Stakes - 0.5
3. Tactical Variety - 0
4. Hook Opener - 0.5
5. Button Finish - 1
6. Sensory - 0.5
7. Internal Obstacles - 2
8. Past/Present Balance - 2
9. Discovery - 1
10. Restraint - 1
TOTAL "ELEMENT USAGE WEIGHT": 9.5

Loved this monologue!

Tags: Comedic female monologues, Comedic monologues for women, Womens monologues, Audition monologues for women, Contemporary monologues, Modern monologues, Monologues from published plays, comedy monologues, comedic monologues, funny monologues, humorous monologues, 2 minute monologues.

In this comic monologue a man professes his lifelong love for a Maypole washing machine.

Monologue gives you a great yarn to spin plus a decent journey with emotional highs and lows to hit.

The monologue is from the short play "Soap Opera" from the collection of short plays by David Ives entitled "Time Flies and other short plays."

The monologue opens on the top of page 119 of "Time Flies and other short plays" with the line "It was as a naked crawling infant I first glimpsed it" and continues to "I was hooked." The second part begins with "The sphinx in our Oedipal basement was my mother's Maypole" and continues to "We were a perfect match." The third part starts with "A machine that's faultless and flawless" and continues to "Perfection, cubed!" The fourth part starts with "Yes. Yes. I know I'm just replacing my mother by dating a washing machine." and continues to "This machine and I are soulmates!" The fifth part starts with "Nobody understood" and closes on "The day I graduated to Maypole Repairman."