Excellent female audition piece: Nina Mansfield’s monologue “Bite Me” from the play of the same name. Look for monologue starting with the line “So there he is stunned from the spray..”
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1-Sentence Summary: A young woman in her twenties when put on the spot with the question "how does a girl go about getting a husband" tells the story of how she got hers, which she admits, may or may not apply.
Appreciated: Rhythmic cadence of the language. Simplicity of language. Speed of piece - could fit within 60 seconds! Age Range 20's Character's gender is female. Monologue genre is comedic. Find this monologue in the collection of monologues "The Ultimate Audition Book Vol 4: 222 Monologues 2 Minutes and Under" on page 48. Monologue Writing 101 Elements (0 = Not Used. 1 = Used. 2 = Strong Usage) 1. Strong Want - 1. 2. High Stakes - 0.5 3. Tactical Variety - 0.5 4. Hook Opener - 1. "The man say to me, "You don't know nothing 'bout music." I say to him, "You don't know nothing 'bout womens." 5. Button Finish - 1. "...truth is I really don't know how a girl should go about getting a husband. I only know how I got mine." 6. Sensory - 0 7. Internal Obstacles - 0 8. Past/Present Balance - 1 9. Discovery - 1. 10. Restraint - 0 TOTAL "ELEMENT USAGE WEIGHT": 6 Tags: Comedic female monologues, Comedic monologues for women, Womens monologues, Audition monologues for women, Contemporary monologues, Modern monologues, Monologues from published plays, comedy monologues, comedic monologues, funny monologues, humorous monologues, 1 minute monologues, hilarious monologues, monologues for young women, strong outspoken female characters, sassy monologues, monologues about dating and marriage. 1-Sentence Summary: After realizing that she and her date (a mathematician) are not a good match, Sara explains to her date that while she's not interested in him as a person she was planning to get laid so can they cut the boring and tedious small talk and skip to the pleasurable part of the evening?
Appreciated: Depiction of a strong outspoken woman who knows what she wants and owns her sexuality unabashedly. Age Range 20's Character's gender is female. Monologue genre is comedic. Find this monologue in the collection of short plays "Plays for Three" in the play "Sex with a Mathematician" by Pete Barry. Monologue starts with the line "Listen, Shirty" and ends with "Let's skip the torture and jump right to the pleasure. (Sizes him up) In whatever quantities we can get it." Monologue Writing 101 Elements (0 = Not Used. 1 = Used. 2 = Strong Usage) 1. Strong Want - 1. To get laid. 2. High Stakes - 0.5 3. Tactical Variety - 2. To break the stigma of casual sex "we're just mammals." To get him to own up to how bad the internet dating service screwed up. To set herself apart from how most women she (and likely he) knows and why she love vets by different rules. All tactics serve to sell him on the idea. 4. Hook Opener - 2. Two words grab attention, show spunk, and establish her character's persona fast. Unique word choice "Shirty." 5. Button Finish - 2. Gives the actress an active reaction to play as she sizes he guy up. Comic gold potentially here. Try different deliveries with colleagues! Humor comes from the honest emotional moment. So what genuine reaction to the guy might someone be having that would make you giggle if you witnessed it? 6. Sensory - 0 7. Internal Obstacles - 0 8. Past/Present Balance - 0. All present action here. That's a good thing! (IF a monologue is a rememberence then it must be connected to and furthering the active present moment in some way). 9. Discovery - 1. If Sara doesn't know she's going to be so blunt (until the moment she is) it will have more power than if she had planned to say it or this is a shtick she uses frequently. 10. Restraint - 1. Understanding the moment before a monologue is key here. If Sara was biting her tongue and suffering inside the whole date until this moment, then she's been restraining her frustration until this moment when she releases it. This monologue is in part fantasy fulfillment. The thing we wish we were brave enough to come out and say. Sara likely feeling no liberated as she blows past the normal human fear of hurting the person she's with to being brutally honest. TOTAL "ELEMENT USAGE WEIGHT": 9.5 Loved this one! Tags: Comedic female monologues, Comedic monologues for women, Womens monologues, Audition monologues for women, Contemporary monologues, Modern monologues, Monologues from published plays, comedy monologues, comedic monologues, funny monologues, humorous monologues, 1 minute monologues, hilarious monologues, monologues for young women, strong outspoken female characters, sassy monologues, monologues about dating. 1-Sentence Summary: Alan demonstrates his irresistible charm to his friend Buddy by talking Chickie Parker into going to a friend's party with him.
Appreciated: How just within the space of a few words, Simon conveys how socially adept and charming Alan Baker can be. The smooth conversational segues from Switzerland as a topic to the Joke about a specialist Swiss doc recommending Alan has to see Chickie within the next half hour or he'll die. His excuse for not picking Chickie up, he has to pickup pretzels for the party. Age Range 30's Character's gender is male. Monologue genre is comedic. Find this monologue on page 32 of "The Collected Plays of Neil Simon Volume 1" from Simon's play "Come Blow Your Horn" Monologue Writing 101 Elements (0 = Not Used. 1 = Used. 2 = Strong Usage) 1. Strong Want - 1. To get a date and impress Buddy. 2. High Stakes - 0.5 3. Tactical Variety - 1. Flatters her, makes himself sound important, reminds her of who he is, avoids picking her up.. 4. Hook Opener - 1. A playboy goes through his little black book. 5. Button Finish - 1. Closes on a "Voila" which references how easy it is for him to conjure up dates for any event. 6. Sensory - 0 7. Internal Obstacles - 0 8. Past/Present Balance - 0.5. Past history with Chickie lightly referenced. Essentially piece is all present action (not a bad thing!) 9. Discovery - 0. 10. Restraint - 0 TOTAL "ELEMENT USAGE WEIGHT": 5 I like this monologue! It quickly establishes a character. And it's quick; monologue can be done in one minute. Tags: Comedic male monologues, Comedic monologues for men, Mens monologues, Audition monologues for men, Contemporary monologues, Modern monologues, Monologues from published books, Monologue collections, comedy monologues, comedic monologues, funny monologues, humorous monologues, 1 minute monologues. 1-Sentence Summary: A pilgrim saves his community from starvation by trading his wife's shoes, his own shoes and his horse shoes for a Thanksgiving feast.
Appreciated: The humor of the pilgrim sacraficing his wife's shoes before his own and eventually being stripped of all shoes (his own and even his horse's). The fixation of the Indian chief on shoes is funny. The stakes are high. The pilgrim has to successfully negotiate a trade with the Indian chief for food or he, his wife and their community will starve. The high stakes are established right at the top, orienting the audience right away to the dramatic situation (even comedy needs to hang its humorous bits on solid dramatic construction). Age Range 30's to 60's Character's gender is male. Monologue genre is comedic. Find this monologue in the collection "Men's Comedic Monologues That Are Actually Funny." I believe it is standalone (not from a play). Monologue Writing 101 Elements (0 = Not Used. 1 = Used. 2 = Strong Usage) 1. Strong Want - 1. To feed his family and community! 2. High Stakes - 1. Make a successful trade or starve. 3. Tactical Variety - 1. Tries to charm the chief (fails), tries to evoke sympathy (fails), tries to trade things other than his shoes (fails). 4. Hook Opener - 1. Opens with pilgrim saying if he fails, they'll all starve. 5. Button Finish - 1. Closes with shoeless pilgrim asking to borrow some moccasins. 6. Sensory - 0 7. Internal Obstacles - 0 8. Past/Present Balance - 0 9. Discovery - 0.5. I suppose when each bag of food is handed to him as well as various reactions the chief is having can play as discoveries. 10. Restraint - 0 TOTAL "ELEMENT USAGE WEIGHT": 5.5 Tags: Comedic male monologues, Comedic monologues for men, Mens monologues, Audition monologues for men, Contemporary monologues, Modern monologues, Monologues from published books, Monologue collections, comedy monologues, comedic monologues, funny monologues, humorous monologues, historical monologues. 1-Sentence Summary: A park ranger gives an engaged couple a tour of the woods and insists he is more entitled to the woods than they are.
Appreciated: The holier than though superior attitude the park ranger has over the people to whom he's speaking. How he shows off his knowledge of the flora and fauna. The great over the top joy and self satisfaction he takes in the woods. The absurdity of the sense of ownership he feels over the national park. Age Range 20's to 40's Character's gender is male. Monologue genre is comedic. Find this monologue in the collection "Men's Comedic Monologues That Are Actually Funny." I believe it is standalone (not from a play). Monologue Writing 101 Elements (0 = Not Used. 1 = Used. 2 = Strong Usage) 1. Strong Want - 0.5. To impress the couple, to show off. 2. High Stakes - 0.5. Maybe they won't be impressed. 3. Tactical Variety - 1. Shows of his knowledge, compares himself to Paul Bunyan... 4. Hook Opener - 1. Uses Latin word for a tree and refers to himself as "in the know" within first 5 seconds or so. 5. Button Finish - 1 6. Sensory - 0.5 7. Internal Obstacles - 0 8. Past/Present Balance - 0 9. Discovery - 0 10. Restraint - 0 TOTAL "ELEMENT USAGE WEIGHT": 4.5 Tags: Comedic male monologues, Comedic monologues for men, Mens monologues, Audition monologues for men, Contemporary monologues, Modern monologues, Monologues from published books, Minologue collections, comedy monologues, comedic monologues, funny monologues, humorous monologues. |
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