This monologue for a a man in his twenties is about a guy (named Grrl) who has a roommate who eats her feelings. When she gets upset and eats her feelings it keeps him from relaxing in his apartment. He's sort of stuck taking care of and managing her toxic emotions. In this monologue he tells us how she progresses through different junk foods based on her level of distress.

This is a very inventive funny monologue. It has to be assembled by removing the various interjections and interactions between the characters. What you're left with is just the character Grrl's lines which are delivered in direct address to the audience. The monologue starts with "I can gauge her mood by what she's eating" and ends with "he's actually been texting me all *** day"

Get this monologue from pages 469 to 471 from the book "Humana Festival 2012: The Complete Plays"

Monologue for a middle aged woman, comedy.  Character, Wanda, is described as "Older professional woman. Warm but not inclined to suffer fools."

Monologue has hook opening "We are living in an insane world" and goes on to explore how Wanda used to have a dream about her "crazy" grandmother, who believed money should not be trusted with banks but kept in false bottom shoes.  In Wanda's dream she'd introduce her grandma to financial journalist Kai Ryssdal of NPRs Marketplace to talk some sense into her about putting her money into banks.  However, post financial crisis with her own home in danger of being taken back by the banks, Wanda still has a dream of her grandma meeting Kai, but now its so she could watch her grandma slap him across his face.   

​You can find the monologue on page 308 of ​Humana Festival 2012: The Complete Plays. 

Monologue for a woman, character Jenni, described as "Smart, hip, young aspiring professional working in the not-for-profit earnest helping professions."  So let's say 20's to early 30's.  Genre is comedy.

This monologue, which opens the play, Jenni sets the stage for how "one day a little billing problem with Ferizon rips your life to shreds and everything you thought you knew about yourself and your world."

Several comic beats includes Jenni losing her train of thought within the first few lines of the monologue, slipping into reverie about the good old days when phone service was as simple as slipping a dime into a pay phone, wondering how something that "comes with a PLAN" can go so horribly wrong and "I thought it was a plan to make my life easier and better - but I was wrong.  Oh my god, I was so wrong."

There's nice variety of tone and rhythm in this piece as well, with Jenni having a mock phone call at one point, catching up with a friend, Jenni waxing philosophical about the big picture of how the world has evolved, and Jenni expressing the emotion of having been through an ordeal.

The monologue does a great job of peaking an audience's interest in the story that is about to unfold.  And it just might peak your auditors' curiosity in you!    Preview the monologue on Lisa Kron's website.  Get this monologue as part of the Humana Festival 2012: The Complete Plays. You'll find it on page 283.

Comedic contemporary monologue for a young woman. Character is 16, named Patricia.

Patricia opens up to a boy she likes. She begins by talking about herself; how accomplished she is. She ends up going deep, talking about her mother's new boyfriend and the loss of her father. By the end, vulnerable, she asks the boy she!s sharing all this with to kiss her.

Piece gives a young woman in her teens plenty of solid comedic and dramatic beats to play. Great journey from funny (she brags about herself) to raw and vulnerable and tragic (she talks about her father's loss, seeing his ghost), to her struggle dealing with her mother having moved on, now in a new romantic relationship, and to curiosity about adult relationships and sex.

• Great hook opening "I have the highest grade point average in my class. I make my own clothes and could play the flute professionally."
• Good balancing past and present action. Recollection reveals her character while being used as a means to get close with a boy she likes.
• Healthy stakes as she's taking a risk she'll reveal who she really is and he'll reject her.
• Strong want to connect, to be kissed.
• Effectively reveals strong emotion under the surface of the storytelling. Here is a young woman who could break down and cry when she thinks about her late father. However se does not, she tells the story of seeing his ghost and how the family dog kept waiting by the door for him to arrive home from work every night. Heartbreaking stuff but she doesn't allow herself to break.

Comedic monologue for a woman in her 40's from the one-act play "Cuthbert's Last Stand" by Andrew Biss, which won the 5th Annual National One-Act Play Competition in Los Angeles.   Character is a woman in her 40's named Mrs. Pennington-South.

You can find this funny female monologue, highest scoring this week on the laugh-o-meter, on page 33 of 222 Comedy Monologues 2 Minutes and Under Volume 4.

Few reasons I luuuurrrve this one per my Monologue Writing 101:

• Hook opener immediately made me like Andrew Biss' style:  "Thirty years of my life I've squandered on that anonymous hotel guest legally defined as my husband and your father."   Best hook this week (so far).
• The monologue effectively connects past action recalled to the present action.  As Mrs. Pennington-South bemoans in great, vivid rib tickling detail the exasperating soul sucking experience that has been her marriage, she connects these past recollections to her life's current mission, which is to ensure that her son - to whom she's currently speaking - escapes a similar fate.
• Finally, insult comedy is funny.  This monologue is chock full

However, as the great LeVar Burton said "You don't have to take my word for it, read it for yourself."  Get the one act play "Cuthbert's Last Stand" by Andrew Biss here.  

Comedic monologue under 2 minutes for woman in her 20's.  Character's name is Jill.  The monologue is contemporary and can be cut to a one minute monologue if needed and still work well.

The monologue opens "I can't talk about him.  No, I will talk about him."   Decent hook in that immediately we're wondering who "him" is.   Clearly he's not easy for her to talk about.

The monologue gives a young actress a great build of intensity as she rhapsodizes about how wonderful the relationship was with "him" at first describing it as "the kind of passion that made every day seem like the Fourth of July."   Great vehicle to show you can exude passion and excitement. 

However, as the character you'll get so carried away with passion that before you knows it you find yourself at a Justice of the Peace hearing the words "Do you Jack, take Jill, to be your lawfully wedded wife."  Name reveal that the "him" referenced throughout is "Jack."  Not good; you can't imagine going through life as "Jack and Jill."   These moments will allow you to play fear and that OMG, what have I got myself into type feeling.  Put another way in the second major beat of the piece you get carried away by euphoric blissful love and in the third major beat you suddenly put the breaks on and try to screech to a halt before you go too far with the feeling ...

As you apply the brakes hard you see the edge of the cliff drawing closer.  Will you stop in time?  You "wanted to scream, to go running out into the night" however "It was 10 o'clock in the morning and well, you can't go running out into 10 o'clock in the morning."

And then quite a great button closing which also serves as a punchline to the setup above "So instead I passed out.  If only I'd fainted, before I said, I do."   So yeah, you go right over that cliff, too late!  You're married!   

It's quite a fun ride with varied levels of energy and emotion, taking you from reluctance to elation to panic to dismay.

Get this 1 to 2 minute comedic contemporary monologue for a young woman from the play Butterflies are Free here.

I saw this contemporary dramatic monologue for men while watching Breaking Bad and it blew me away. You'll find the monologue within Breaking Bad Season 4, Episode 10 at 23 minutes into the episode. The monologue is spoken by the character Walt who is in his forties.

The monologue is short under two minutes and exemplifies elements 1-6 and 8 of Monologue Writing 101. The night prior to the monologue Walt's son, Walt Jr., had come to his father's condo to check if everything was alright, because Walt had missed Walt Jr.'s 16th birthday celebration. Walt Jr. finds his father looking beat up, Walt's been in a fight, and drunk. In his drunken weakened state Walt had spoken briefly to his son and then passed out. The monologue takes place the next morning.

In the monologue Walt shares the story of his one real memory of his own father, who died of Huntington's disease when Walt was very young. Walt's memory is of a father who was very sick, barely hanging onto life, who could no longer speak, and who may no longer even have fully recognized him. Walt's only real memory of his father is of a shell of a man. Walt wants his own son, Walt Jr., to remember him at his best. Walt does not want Walt Jr. to remember him the way he was the night before; drunk, beaten, incoherent.

For actors auditioning for a dramatic role, who want to demonstrate they can achieve a layered, nuanced performance - this monologue delivers.

Per Monologue Writing 101, this monologue exemplifies the following elements:

Element 1: Walt has a strong desire for his son to have a positive memory of him. He wants his son to forget what he saw last night.

Element 2: Walt has at stake how his son sees and esteems him. As a father, Walt cares deeply how he will be remembered by his son when he is gone.

Element 3: Walt tries a few tactics to get his son to forget about his lapse in character. He apologizes to his son, he shows his son he feels ashamed, he uses self-deprecation, and finally he opens up about his own father. The memory he shares is something very personal that he has never told his son before.

Element 4: The opening of the monologue serves as an effective hook. It sets up the current state of the relationship dynamic and the want that the speaker has in that relationship. It pulls us in. We want to see if Walt will win over his son. "I wish I could take back last night. It was your birthday, this shouldn’t be on your mind. No it’s not okay, I’m your father and I don’t want last night to be…. I mean you, you really … you can’t think of me like …"

Element 5: The close of the monologue has a solid "button" ending. It effectively connects the past action from Walt's childhood back to the present action between Walt and Walt Jr. and to the strong character want established at the start of the monologue. By the end of the monologue, Walt's want has more weight and has engaged the empathy of Walt Jr. "That is the only real memory that I have of my father. I don’t want you to think of me the way I was last night. I don’t want that to be the memory you have of me when I’m gone."

Element 6: This is an excellent example of a monologue that engages the senses. Walt remembers the smell in hospital where he visited his father, the "stench of Lysol and bleach." He remembers seeing his father lying in bed "all twisted up." And he remembers the sound of his father breathing like "this rattling sound. Like if you were shaking an empty spray paint can. Like there was nothing in him."

Element 8: Past action is used to drive home the present want of the monologist. Walt uses his memory as a tactic to engage his son's empathy, to persuade his son. The author does a good job keeping past action tied to present action.

Here is one example from the monologue where Walt uses a specific detail from the past as a means to connect to his son in the present: "My mother would tell me so many stories about my father. I mean she would talk about him all the time. I knew about his personality, how he treated people, I even knew how he liked his steaks cooked. Medium rare, just like you."

On page 36 of Steve Martin's "Picasso at the Lapin Agile and other plays" you'll find a tight comedic monologue that will satisfy the two minute comedic contemporary monologue category for men. Character is Sagot, a middle aged art dealer, but if you're younger don't let that stop you if you feel you can deliver on the comic punches in this humorous monologue.

The monologues opening line clinches the "hook opening" category of Monologue Writing 101:

"I know that there are two subjects in paintings that no one will buy. One is Jesus, and the other is sheep."

And then it effectively works this premise with Sagot going into the awkward situations of having a pic of JC over the sofa when you're with friends "having a few drinks" or over the bed when you're "in the missionary position." And in the kitchen "that's sort of insulting to Jesus. Jesus, Ham Sandwich, Jesus, Ham Sandwich; I wouldn't like it and neither would He."

Comedic contemporary two to three minute monologue for men. Age 25+

Monologuist gives advice on how to go about successfully dating your mother. Frazier handles this ridiculous and taboo premise with comic flare, taking an Oedipal approach with the monologuist doling out advice on how to cut your father out of the relationship.

Monologue is a great example of the hook opening described in Monologue Writing 101. The opening line of this absurd monologue is virtually guaranteed to wake up your audience:  "Dating your mother might seriously might seem difficult at first, but once you try it I'll bet you'll be surprised at how easy it is."

The comedy of this humorous monologue is born of the fact that the monologuist never acknowledges how wrong and taboo the premise is.

Great illustration of the "Straight Line/Wavy Line" concept from Steve Kaplan's excellent book The Hidden Tools of Comedy. In Frazier's monologue, the monologuist serves the role of "Straight Line."  The offstage person to whom the monologuist is speaking is the "Wavy Line."  Read Kaplan's book for "the deets," but in a nutshell "Straight Line" is the person in the scene barreling straight ahead in a highly problematic direction but totally blind and unaware that there is any problem. So the "Straight Line" is basically an idiot who doesn't see a obvious problem.  Perfectly describes Frazier's monologuist, who totally misses obvious problem of incest and only sees the obstacle of dad.  Meanwhile the "Wavy Line" is the person witnessing this madness and unsure how to handle it.  Clearly the person listening has not interrupted, so they are stuck hearing this mom-dating insanity and unsure how to respond.

Frazier's monologue is also a solid illustration of basic joke structure.  Check out chapter 1 of by Greg Dean's book Step by Step to Standup Comedy, where he breaks down how setup (expectation) and punch (surprise) function - includes diagrams!  But anyway, the basic jist is that in Frazier's monologue sets one expectation and then surprises us by taking a different direction.  Our expectation is the monologuist will talk about getting over the taboo of dating one's mom and instead he talks about getting one over on dad!

Preview author Ian Frazier's absurd monologue, which is part of his collection of humorous essays entitled Dating your Mom, by jumping over to google books. You can also order a copy here.

Comedic monologue, female, teen, contemporary. 1 minute monologue.

The character's name is Howdy, she's 17 and overweight.

This monologue for a young women has a clear objective for an actress: convince Mrs. Becker, who believes the monologist is without ambition, that she in fact has BIG ambitions. She's going to join the World Wrestling Federation and become " BOOGER WOMAN" who will be "the hero for all fat girls."

Per Monologue Writing 101 this monologue is notable for its:

• Strong Want - Howdy's desire to standup to Mrs. Becker jumps off the page.  A+
• Engage the Senses - the monologue is filled with visual and to a lesser extent tactile language.  A
• Hook Opening - interesting word choice plus effectively engages the audience's attention on the monologue's premise.  A-
• Button Closing - finishes strong, building energy to a climax and sticking it to Mrs. Becker.  A

Available on page 10 of "222 Comedy Monologues 2 Minutes and Under."